Oh man, oh man oh man oh man, have we got a gang of doozies for you today! Tops, bottoms, bottom-bottoms (shoes) and everything in between - you’re covered, literally, with this list. So whip out that wallet, quicksmart, and grab some of this grub:
“Woah,” you might be thinking, “Woah, that’s a lot for a belt.” But then you think “When was the last time I bought a belt?” and the last time you bought a belt was over, at the very least, six years ago. You don’t buy belts every day, because they’re belts, and they last for ages. Shell out for one - it’ll be with you years from now, during the nuclear winter. Not as reckless a purchase as you may have first thought.
There’s not much to say about this ridiculously beautiful collab other than, and excuse me for getting guttural here: uuuuhuhhuuuhhhh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uuuhhhhhh OH GOD uuuhhhhhhh.
Thankfully, it has finally been long enough since Charlie Sheen appeared on Two And A Half Men, that you can now jump on the bowling shirt trend. Light, airy and actually-quite-fashionable-if-you-pick-the-right-one, it’s a trend you may never have thought you’d adopt, but you’ve gotta be risky with this type of thing. If you never switched it up you’d still be wearing Spliffy jeans and Joe Bloggs sweaters - welcome to 2018, mate.
Yes yes, yes, absolutely yes - a white knit cotton polo shirt is a style staple that would do well to be in any man’s wardrobe. A lovely little ‘70s throwback, it’ll pair with pretty much whatever it is you want to wear on those legs of yours. Get yourself onto some sort of boat with one of these on, and you’ll feel like a king. Like, a low-level, casual, non-royal king, but a king all the same.
A nice sweatshirt, regardless of whether you’ve been to New York or not.
Related: A nice sweatshirt, regardless of whether you like Peanuts or not.
Look, these may not be to everyone’s tastes, but if the rest of you looks on-point (which it will do if you follow our weekly advice), then nobody can argue with them. They become cool by association, so take the risk, make the jump, touch the plug socket - live a little!
It is not too early to be thinking about proper jackets. It may be sunny (intermittently), but in a few months it will resolutely not be, and then you’ll either have to put last year’s tired coat on, or be the first to slap out a brand new banger because you got it early, while the rest were sleeping. Well done you, New Jacket Boy, everyone else looks like a dirty pig.
A Very Nice Hat™
It’s hard to get shorts right, make no mistake. And if you’re unsure, it’s best to head down the simple, one-colour, minimal pockets route - which is exactly where Dickies have you with this pair. Sturdy, smart, uncomplicated - now all you’ve got to worry about is your hairy knees, you pale beast.
Oh, so you want to wear a jacket that’ll be impossible to look bad in? Here’s your holy grail. Just look at the angles on this thing - cleaner than you could ever even dream. It also comes in a pink/black colourway which is just as perfect.
What you need, is a grey sweatshirt. It is the ultimate oh my God I have slept through my alarm and I don’t have time to do a big fashion-show in front of the mirror this morning well it’s a good bloody job I’ve got a grey sweater to bung on because I can at least guarantee that I’ll look good in it without even thinking about the rest of my outfit item of clothing. Grey sweat, pair of jeans, nae actual bother.
And seeing as you’re going to get a lot of use out of the damn thing, why not fork over a little extra for a top quality one like the number above? Makes sense, you know.
These are very simple, but trying too hard with shorts is - as already mentioned - a risky game. Concentrate on the rest of your outfit and the shorts will blend in right nicely. A grey pair of chinos will do that job rather nicely for you, you’ll soon find. Now whip those pins out, you absolute flamingo!