As ex-hurricane Ophelia batters the Irish coastline, with BBC reporting that 360,000 homes have been left without power thanks to blasting 80mph winds, fresh off of turning London’s sky into a post-apocalyptic hellscape, some people have taken matters into their own hands, grabbed the wet suit, and front-crawled into the actual sea.
Now, far be it from us to ban anyone from exercise – just this morning we noted how a little walk can help your brain cope with your despised day job – but this is so, so, so dumb.
Putting your own life at risk (and the lives of those whose job it is to save you) for the sake of The Craic is dumb as hell.
Or maybe it was someone totally given up to sating their FitBit’s blood lust.
Or maybe it was guerrilla marketing for the new Aquaman movie.
Or maybe people just lose all sense of self-preservation when faced with the horrifying majesty of the murderous sea, its unknowable power short-circuiting the brain, drawing you into its depths to your certain end, like when you stand at the edge of a platform on the Tube and you don’t want to throw yourself on the tracks but a voice in your hair dares you anyway…
But no, it is most certainly just a fucking idiot. Stay out of the water, be safe, and, for the love of god, don’t go swimming.