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Meanwhile, in headlines that sound like a joke: Steven Seagal is appointed as Russia’s Special Envoy to the US

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Gary Ogden
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Meanwhile, in headlines that sound like a joke: Steven Seagal is appointed as Russia’s  Special Envoy to the US 1

Oh 2018, you will never cease to amaze us

What on earth is happening? Every single day, ask yourself this: what is happening? Every time something happens in 2018, it is more ridiculous than the last thing that happened. 

You thought a snake eating a pigeon on Leytonstone High Road was weird? Well get ready for today’s slice of nonsense: Steven Seagal has been officially appointed as Russia’s Special Envoy to the US. Yeah, Steven Seagal, the martial arts guy. The ponytail guy. Cockpuncher. That Steven Seagal.

You see, Putin is a big fan of Seagal, who has long had an association with Russia, even calling the president a personal friend. Back in 2016, he was even granted Russian citizenship by Putin himself:

Seagal told the Russian network RT:

“I’ve always had a very strong desire to do all I can to help improve Russian-American relations.

“I have worked tirelessly in this direction for many years unofficially and I am now very grateful for the opportunity to do the same thing officially.”

Yep, no idea what’s happening. This is an official position - it’s unpaid, sure, but it’s an actual thing - Seagal will be in charge of improving relations between the two countries. Relations, you’ll recall, which are pretty fraught - so get the guy from Exit Wounds to sort it out. That’s what’s happened, here.

Who knows if this will actually lead to any semblance of progress in any way, but at least the announcement gives us the chance to post the greatest ever video of Steven Seagal in existence:

Oh man, that never gets old.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

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