Michael Owen has never drunk a cup of tea or coffee
He's also revealed his most horrific moment: killing a rabbit
Has there ever been a greater unintentional comedian than Michael Owen? He's up there with the best kettles around when it comes to how animated he is.
- If you do like a brew, these are the best coffee machines around
For a man so ostensibly dull - and I mean that in the very best way; after all dullness is a virtue in sport. Dullness enables a single-minded pursuit of excellence, the tunnel vision that enables people to exclude all extraneous noise and concentrate only on the task in hand, which Owen did with aplomb throughout his magnificent footballing career - he constantly produces moments of absolute hilarity, absolutely none of it planned or aimed for.
Who can forget, on this very website, his utterly amazing reviews of the only 8 (Eight!) films he’s seen in his entire life?
Who can forget him ruthlessly putting goal after goal past a 13-year-old kid, destroying every bit of confidence that nice Neville Southall had tried to instill in him?
And who now doesn’t want to go to Dubai after watching the greatest promo video in the history of tourism?
But now old Mickey has produced yet more nuggets of comedic brilliance in a Twitter Q&A session with Joe, as he sensationally revealed:
“I’ve never drunk a cup of tea in my life, or coffee for that matter.”
“But, I’ve just learnt how to make one.”
He also discussed the time he ran over a rabbit and tweeted about it:
“I live out in the sticks, a little bit in the country and I’m just going down my drive, and a rabbit ran straight in front of me and went ‘crunch’ under my wheel,” he said.
“And I genuinely was gutted. I don’t know why I just… five minutes later when I got in the house I put ‘just ran over a rabbit. Devastated.’
“And even to this day, years and years on, it’s the most retweeted thing on my timeline. I love the way people remember it.”
I reckon the rabbit’s not too thrilled Mickey.
Still, surely the search for the new face of Tetley is now over?
(Images: Getty/Tetley/Warner Bros)