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Here are all of the drugs people think should be legal (and what would happen if they were)

Posted by
Nick Pope
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A recent YouGuv study has revealed which drugs the British public believe should be legalised - and it's pretty surprising.

 

  • Here are all of the drugs people think should be legal (and what would happen if they were)

    Cannabis - 39 per cent

    Class: B

    Effect: A calming high. A growing appetite.

    What if it is legalised?

    Justeat.com will become the most valuable company in the world, eclipsing Apple and Google in a single evening. Amsterdam’s tourism industry crumbles, but they’re far too baked to care.

  • Here are all of the drugs people think should be legal (and what would happen if they were) 1

    Poppers - 28 per cent

    Class: C

    Effect: Sharp head-rush. Heightened sexual experience. Malleable kaboose.

    What if it is legalised?

    They've only just been banned, so it'd probably incite an anarchistic, nationwide poppers party. One idiot will accidentally use a party popper and blow out his eyeballs.

  • Here are all of the drugs people think should be legal (and what would happen if they were) 2

    Ecstasy - 17 per cent

    Class: A

    Effect: A bouncy, gurning buzz (and an all-consuming love for the human race (and monotonous dance music (and lasers))).

    What if it was legalised?

    You won't be able to leave your house without a black-eyed teenager panickedly tapping you on the shoulder and asking you to feel their heart-beat.

  • Here are all of the drugs people think should be legal (and what would happen if they were) 3

    LSD - 15 per cent

    Class: A

    Effect: Hallucinations.

    What if it was legalised?

    Everybody in the country would wear kaftans. Everybody would learn the sitar. The newly-elected government, fronted by an actual iguana, would make every colour but 'tie-dye illegal. It would be really sh*t.

  • Here are all of the drugs people think should be legal (and what would happen if they were) 4

    Cocaine - 15 per cent

    Class: A

    Effects: A high that improves your confidence.

    What if it was legalised?

    The world would be inhabited only by men in suits, reeling off Wolf of Wall Street quotes and screaming "You what mate?" at every passer-by. Imagine Liverpool Street on a Friday evening, and you're pretty much there.

  • Here are all of the drugs people think should be legal (and what would happen if they were) 5

    Heroin - 13 per cent

    Class: A

    Effect: A massive, immediate high.

    What if it was legalised:

    We would just use loads of it, wouldn't we? And we'd die. Because we are not smart people.