People. They're the worst.
It's a sentiment that Michael - a Tesla Model X owner hailing from Chicago, USA - knows all too well.
Michael had been on a date, a third date no less (giggity etc), when he returned to his beloved all-electric vehicle to find that someone had "taken a gigantic sh*t" on his windscreen.
Most of us would just howl into the night with rage, insisting to our date that you thought it was a "nice neighbourhood", but not Michael.
Michael took to Craig's List to find further information on the Phantom Defecator. This is what he posted (now flagged for removal).
It keeps going...
"I have kept a sample of the shit for I can see someone trying to pull another fast one on me."
If this post does prove to be real (rather than an unusual-if-creative shout for attention), that probably means that Michael currently has a box of someone else's poo in his fridge.
Then again, he does "own a Tesla", so he'll probably get over it soon enough.