Today in "nope", here's a 200kg great white shark jumping into a fisherman's boat
Bet you can't guess where this happened...
If I told you that a 200kg great white shark had leapt out of the sea and into a fisherman’s boat, and gave you one chance to guess where it happened, what would you say?
Correct! Of course it was Australia, the country otherwise known as The Land of Nope, where everything is trying to kill and/or maim you at literally all times.
Terry Selwood, a 73-year-old fisherman, was on his boat off the north coast, when suddenly the nine-foot long, 200kg shark launches itself out of the sea and into his small boat.
"As he was coming down, he hit me on the arm,” Selwood said. “He knocked me off balance, of course, and I just fell on my hands and knees," said Selwood. "I looked there to the side and ... (thought) 'this is a bloody shark.'" This is the most Australian thing ever, seriously.
"He was just doing the mad dance and he was thrashing everywhere, so I got up as quick as I could,” he added. “I grabbed the rocket launcher up the top, and I climbed up on the gunnel.” Once he was high enough to be safe, he used his radio to call for help.
"I didn't have a burly out, which does attract sharks, I was using two little bits of blue pilchard to fish for snapper on the bottom of the ocean, but that line was straight under the boat, not out the back where he (the shark) came from.
"For some unknown reason he just launched himself out of the water and he must have come up four feet out of the water to clear my outboard motor and drop straight in the boat.
"He just bounced around in there and he struck my arm a couple of times and I thought he'd broke my arm to be honest but it's just torn the skin off it.
"People said I'd been bitten by a shark but he didn't, he just hit my arm because sharks have very rough skin and he just tore the skin off it, it was just a brief encounter with a white pointer"
When rescuers reached Selwood they found him “covered in blood with numerous lacerations on his right forearm”, but he seems pretty unbothered by the whole situation.
"It won't deter me from fishing, no way in the world,” he said.
"I think next time I might find a crocodile to wrestle, just to stay in the limelight.
"But really it's not a great story, it's just a mundane thing that just happened and it's over and done with, but something that I'll remember."
If this happened to me I don’t think I’d ever go another day without telling it to someone. I definitely wouldn’t be calling it a “mundane thing that just happened”. Honestly, Australia is wild.