There are a lot of things Donald Trump loves: golf, money, deporting people – he’s got loads of hobbies. You know what he hates, though? Coasters. Fucking despises them. Awful things. Sad!
Not rollercoasters, either – it’s kind of legit to be scared of rollercoasters – they’re fast and you go upside down and shit. But no, President Donald Trump isn’t scared of rollercoasters, he’s scared of actual coasters. Like, drinks coasters. Things you put your drink on.
Want proof? Of course you do. You can’t just make up some bizarre claim without backing it up with solid facts, can you? No one does that. Well here’s a video:
Weird, isn’t it? He definitely hates them. Why, though? It’s so weird. The phenomenon was discovered by Ali Segel on Twitter, and her followers have a few theories:
@BetseyJWilkin Trump's slightly more subtle form of manspreading.— painfullyhip (@painfullyhip) March 27, 2017
Actually, there's a simple & logical explanation. He's only allowed to drink out of sippy cups until he gets to be a big boy.— Chet Powell (@ChetPowell) March 28, 2017
he must flee water lest he be forced to recapture his soul in order to return it to his phylactery.— EpiBen (@wellsbe) March 28, 2017
All interesting theories, but the only one we’re really buying is this one right here:
That’s the one.