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40 pieces of advice from movie teachers

Because high school lasts forever

40 pieces of advice from movie teachers
20 October 2011

Ah teachers. Throughout most of our childhood, they were the very bane of our existence. Remember the total, head-scratching absurdity of having to ask for permission to go to the toilet?

As we've matured and realised that they were just regular people with irregular holidays, we've reminisced over the advice they offered our way. Sadly, nothing was of any use so we've taken solace in the world of film, yet again.

Here are 40 of the best/worst/weirdest pieces of advice from movie teachers.

(Images: All Star, Rex Features, YouTube)

Bad Teacher

"I tell you what I know. A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. that's what I know."

Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz)

The Breakfast Club

"Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns."

Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason)

Donnie Darko

""No duh" is a product of fear."

Kitty Farmer (Beth Grant)

Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit

"If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer."

Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg)

Kindergarten Cop

"You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping!"

Detective James Kimble (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

"I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Mr. Garrison (Trey Parker)

Animal House

"Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel."

Dave Jennings (Donald Sutherland)

Dead Poets Society

"No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world."

John Keating (Robin Williams)

Half Nelson

"The sun goes up and then it comes down, but everytime that happens what do you get? You get a new day."

Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling)


"Like you, I used to think the world was this great place where everybody lived by the same standards I did, then some kid with a nail showed me I was living in his world, a world where chaos rules not order, a world where righteousness is not rewarded."

Trevor Garfield (Samuel L Jackson)

To Sir, With Love

"I believe one should fight for what one believes. Provided one is absolutely sure one is absolutely right."

Mark Thackeray (Sidney Poitier)


"The only thing worse than a loser is someone who won't admit he played badly."

Micky Rosa (Kevin Spacey)


"I'm smart; you're dumb. I'm big; you're little. I'm right; you're wrong and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Agatha Trunchbull (Pam Ferris)

School Of Rock

"Those that can't do, teach, and those that can't teach... teach gym."

Dewey Finn (Jack Black)


"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

Patches O'Houlihan (Rip Torn)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief."

Ed Rooney (Jeffrey Jones)

Harry Potter And The Order of The Phoenix

"I am a tolerant woman, but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty."

Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton)

School For Scoundrels

"How many of you have self-help books? Okay, that's your first problem. You can't help yourself, because your *self* sucks!"

Dr. P (Billy Bob Thornton)

The History Boys

"There is no such thing as general studies. General studies is a waste of time. Knowledge is not general. It is specific."

Hector (Richard Griffiths)

Stand And Deliver

"Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for a living."

Jaime Escalante (Edward James Olmos)

Freedom Writers

"To get respect you have to give it."

Erin Gruwell (Hilary Swank)

The Great Debaters

"We do what we have to do in order to do what we want to do."

James Farmer Jr (Denzel Washington)

Teen Wolf

"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body."

Coach Flinstock (Jay Tarses)

Finding Forrester

"The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time."

William Forrester (Sean Connery)


"There's nothing worse than a female lawyer with a cause."

Alex Jurel (Nick Nolte)

Remember The Titans

"This is no democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am the law."

Coach Boone (Denzel Washington)

Teaching Mrs Tingle

"You poor dear. I pray you're a good waitress."

Mrs. Tingle (Helen Mirren)

Kill Bill Volume 2

"So my pathetic friend... is there anything that you can do well?"

Pai Mei (Chia Hui Liu)

Lean On Me

"The problem with teenagers today is you don't know nothing."

Joe Clark (Morgan Freeman)

Wonder Boys

"When the family pet's been assassinated, the owner doesn't want to hear one of her students was the trigger man."

Grady Tripp (Michael Douglas)

Fever Pitch

"It's good for your soul to invest in something you can't control."

Ben (Jimmy Fallon)

Mean Girls

"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant, and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it. Okay, promise? Now, everyone take some rubbers."

Coach Carr (Dwayne Hill)

Renaissance Man

"All I know is, the choices we make dictate the life we lead."

Bill Rago (Danny DeVito)

The Miracle Worker

"Now all I have to teach you is one word - everything."

Annie Sullivan (Anne Bancroft)

The Karate Kid

"Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything."

Miyagi (Pat Morita)

Higher Learning

"One's primary purpose at university level is to learn how to think."

Professor Phipps (Laurence Fishburne)

The Empire Strikes Back

"If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."

Yoda (Frank Oz)

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 2

"It is the quality of ones convictions that determines success, not the number of followers."

Remus Lupin (David Thewlis)

Mr. Woodcock

"Sorry is for criminals and screw-ups... and I'm neither one."

Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton)


"Your entire havoc-inducing, thieving, whoring generation disgusts me."

Principal Arthur Himbry (Henry Winkler)