16 reasons there will never be a better console than the Gamecube

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea; My love as deep; the more I give to thee; The more I have, for both are infinite.” That's William Shakespeare there, talking about the Nintendo Gamecube, which turns the grand old age of 15 on 14 September.

Did you know that the Nintendo Gamecube is so unarguably great that all modern love stories are based on it? It is every artist's muse, every child's reason to utter a tinkling laugh. It is light. It is goodness. It is everything.

Sorry, where were we? What we're trying to say is: go away other consoles. Leave us in peace. Nothing will ever beat the Gamecube in our hearts, and here's why... 

Nintendo looked at decades of disc history and fearlessly said, "Nah, mate. Smaller."

This is almost definitely a true fact

It was the exclusive home of Super Mario Sunshine

You could plug in your Gameboy Advance to get that high-tech feeling

Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do DO

If you were so inclined, it came in ORANGE

It was the home of snotty kid

Don't @ us, there will never be a game better than Wind Waker

It only corrupted your memory card ~occasionally~

Because where would society - nay, the world itself - be without Pikmin?

It had the most satisfying eject button of all time

Oh, hello LIGHT UP CONTROLLERS

It gave Luigi a chance to shine

Super Smash Bros. Melee, basically

It will always be there for you, wherever you go

If you wanted to be a next-level nerd, you could import the Gamecube's Panasonic cousin, the Q. Just LOOK AT IT.