Okay so you're going to have to stick with us on this one. It's a doozy.
It all starts back in 1995 when Thomas Paul Nunes stole some of his police lieutenant wife's shotguns for some recreational shooting. It ended badly with police returning fire and Nunes losing one of his eyes in the process.
Incredibly, the dysfunctional couple stayed together but back in June of this year, things reached a new low. Thomas's wife Lisa retired and they decided to go on a pub crawl. But Thomas noticed his wife had been sexting some guy and he, understandably, freaked out.
He grabbed the phone, headed home and Facebook-stalked her for any other evidence of infidelity. He then decided to do the obvious: get stoned and ask his cats for advice.
Apparently, he spent 20 minutes conferring with his cats to "reason out a plan" and this plan was waking up his wife with a bullet about a foot above her head.
He then tried to give over the weapon to police, claiming he was just trying to scare her. But of course he entered the station with the gun strapped to his ankle. Bad move.
He's been sentenced to 10 years, his wife has filed for divorce and the cats have got away with it.
(Image: Flickr Creative Commons: cicatrix)