If you’re anything like me, you’ve dedicated hours, nay, weeks of your life to compiling a playlist that perfectly summarises your musical development, in the hope that if you’re ever discovered in your flat half-eaten by cats they’ll play it during some tearful but banger-packed news coverage.
Well, turns out you were wasting your time, because Spotify have unleashed their latest feature, Time Capsule, and it essentially does the job for you, but better. Put together by an algorithm, using your date of birth and general listening habits, your Time Capsule playlist is a personalised “throwback” journey through songs that it assumes will give you an intense nostalgic rush.
If you’re anything like me, this is the kind of thing you can look forward to.
Right, OK, lots to unpack here. Spotify has me pinned as a pop-punk kid with an occasional taste for reggae, trip-hop and brit pop. Solid guess. Although did I really like Linkin Park enough for TWO different songs? There’s only 55 on this playlist, we need to be frugal with space.
Hang on, MORE Linkin Park? And it’s a remix of one of the other two? Spotify, you’re dragging me, and I’m extremely into it. Other than that, some deep cut emo bangers here, and some classic Kerrang!-core. You’ve have my interest, Spotify. Let’s see if you have my attention.
NOW WE’RE COOKING ON GAS. ALL BANGERS ALL THE TIME. BRIEF DIVERSION INTO ULTRA-MELANCHOLY AMBIENT IN THE MIDDLE THERE BUT THE ROOM IS STILL JUMPING. LET’S NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT SPOTIFY THINKING THAT I CAME OUT OF THE WOMB LISTENING TO N.W.A.
At this point words turned into gushing torrents of salty tears, as I threw myself to my knees and worshipped a giant neon sign in the sky reading “NOSTALGIA”. Fly me to heaven, Spotify.
Head here to get yours, then spend the whole weekend comparing notes with your mates and wishing you were still popping wheelies on a BMX covered in stickers.