I am not a fan of Christmas, but I am a fan of horror movies, and I am more a fan of horror movies than I’m not a fan of Christmas, which means I love Christmas horror movies. Does that make sense? What a terrible opening sentence. Let’s ignore I said it, and just focus on this: I love Christmas horror movies.
They are the exact opposite of festive cheer - there’s just something so perfect about setting a gross horror movie at Christmas, the contrast between happiness and abject sadness is wonderful and I love it. I enjoy being scared at Christmas, because it disguises the toxic December hate that bubbles so closely under my waxy coating.
So I thought, why not drag everyone else into the misery, why should I be the only one who sessions foulness at Christmas? As such, here are my favourite Christmas horror movies - watch them, enjoy them, put them on on Christmas day and drag everyone else down to your level. Merry Christmas!
'Silent Night, Deadly Night'
'Better Watch Out'
'Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale'
'Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2'
So there you go - lots to be getting on with over the next few days, there. Death, terror, violence, screaming - it’s what Christmas is made of! Have a shit one, my friends!