Films

30 best movie insults

Picture the scene: you've just stubbed your toe and it's the same damn toe you stubbed last week. There's no one to blame but that stupid, smug table leg. But you're sick of shouting random swears at the thing. It's clearly not making a difference to its attitude.

Fear not. Cinema is here to help. Again.

As well as teaching us how to inspire others (preferably disadvantaged schoolkids), films also give us a wide variety of inventive insults to utilise in extremely necessary situations. We've assembled 30 of the best below.

Let us know if we've missed off your favourite at the bottom.

(Images: All Star, YouTube)

  • 30 best movie insults

    Planes, Trains and Automobiles

    "If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the John and watch you take a leak"

  • 30 best movie insults 1

    Gangs Of New York

    “I don’t give a tuppeny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit sack.”

  • 30 best movie insults 2

    Bad Santa

    “You’re an emotional f*cking cripple. Your soul is dogsh*t. Every single f*cking thing about you is ugly.”

  • 30 best movie insults 3

    Swimming With Sharks

    “You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn't bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you.”

  • 30 best movie insults 4

    The Witches Of Eastwick

    "You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humour and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick."

  • 30 best movie insults 5

    The Princess Bride

    "I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon."

  • 30 best movie insults 6

    Toy Story

    "You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity."

  • 30 best movie insults 7

    The Breakfast Club

    "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

  • 30 best movie insults 8

    Full Metal Jacket

    “It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!”

  • 30 best movie insults 9

    Get Carter

    "You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow."

  • 30 best movie insults 10

    E.T.

    "It was nothing like that, penis-breath!”

  • 30 best movie insults 11

    A Fish Called Wanda

    "You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole."

  • 30 best movie insults 12

    The Wizard Of Oz

    "You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous junk!"

  • 30 best movie insults 13

    9 to 5

    "You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot"

  • 30 best movie insults 14

    Monty Python And The Holy Grail

    "I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

  • 30 best movie insults 15

    The 40-Year-Old Virgin

    "If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground."

  • 30 best movie insults 16

    There Will Be Blood

    "You're just the afterbirth, Eli, slithered out on your mother's filth. They should have put you in glass jar on a mantelpiece. "

  • 30 best movie insults 17

    Scarface

    "Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging for it on a desert island, you'd be the last thing I'd ever f*ck."

Shortlist

news straight to your inbox

subscribe to our newsletter
Read our privacy policy
  • 30 best movie insults 18

    Three Amigos

    "You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!"

  • 30 best movie insults 19

    Con Air

    "You're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception."

  • 30 best movie insults 20

    The War Of The Roses

    "When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in."

  • 30 best movie insults 21

    Step Brothers

    "I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home"

  • 30 best movie insults 22

    Quadrophenia

    "Yeah I'll tell you what you can do with your eye-teeth and your job, you can take the mail and the frankin machine and all that other rubbish I have to go about with and you can stuff them right up your arse!"

  • 30 best movie insults 23

    In Bruges

    "Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole world."

  • 30 best movie insults 24

    Bridesmaids

    "You look like an old mop."

  • 30 best movie insults 25

    The Big Lebowski

    "I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?"

  • 30 best movie insults 26

    Carlito's Way

    "What, you think you like me? You ain't like me motherfucker, you a punk. I've been with made people, connected people. Who've you been with? Chain snatching, jive-ass, maricon motherfuckers. Why don't you get out of here and go snatch a purse."

  • 30 best movie insults 27

    Misery

    "Eat it till you choke, you sick, twisted f*ck!"

  • 30 best movie insults 28

    The Silence Of The Lambs

    “You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling?

  • 30 best movie insults 29

    Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory

    "You’re a crook! You’re a cheat and a swindler! How could you do a thing like this, raise up a little boy’s hopes and then dash all his dreams to pieces? You’re an inhuman monster!"

Topics

Share this article

Related Posts