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There are super-intelligent cyborg rats now so let's just give up


We knew this was coming: half-rat, half-robot hybrids have outperformed both rats and robots, bringing us one step closer to the future we were shown in Biker Mice From Mars. We knew this was coming and we did NOTHING and now it's too late.

A new study published in the scientific journal PLOS One (who are being particularly careful what they publish at the moment after publishing an article that concluded that hands were so complicated they meant God had to exist, which is a controversial statement for a scientific journal to endorse) recounts experiments from China's Zhejiang University, in which microelectrodes were implanted into rats' brains.

Rats were run through a maze on their own and with computer guidance (by being stimulated towards making certain choices when they appeared indecisive). The computer system, which was developed by the same team especially, was also tested on its own.

The most successful group was - of course - the group of rats with computer guidance. CYBORG RATS. The combination of the computer system's ability to run programmes at impressive speeds and the brain's ability to analyse, learn and react is a really powerful combination, it turns out.

We, for one, welcome our new rodent-bot overlords.



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asian hornet

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