Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Man tries to kiss rattlesnake on the mouth, gets bitten on the face


Des’ree once sang: “we're living, we're living in a crazy maze… and we're fighting, we're fighting to rise above the haze… there are many theories, who's right and who's wrong?”

And these words came to mind when we heard about the story of a Florida man who tried to kiss a rattlesnake in the mouth.

Because, while, broadly, Des’ree’s words are correct – in such a chaotic world [cf. maze], who can truly say who is right and who is wrong, and who can truly predict outcomes in an unpredictable world – they are absolutely not correct when you are talking about kissing a rattlesnake on the mouth. You can predict with absolute certainly what will happen when you try to kiss a rattlesnake on the mouth, and you can say with absolute certainty that in terms of the rightness or wrongness of a decision, it has very much taken its coat off and settled down with tea and biscuits and today’s newspaper in the camp of the latter.

The unfortunate snake was found by a Mr Charles Goff, a resident of Putnam County, which lies in the north-eastern region of Florida, on Monday.

One day later, a neighbour, Ron Reinold, began playing with the snake.

"One boy said, 'I'm going to kiss it in the mouth,' and the snake bit him in the face," Mr Goff told Action News Jax. Ron was just acting silly, you know? I guess he said he could kiss the devil and get away with it, but evidently he didn't."

Mr Reinold was then airlifted to hospital, initially in a critical condition but is now recovering. The snake is believed to have escaped.

The BBC writes: “It is still not clear why Mr Reinold tried to kiss the rattlesnake.”

Let’s just run through this one more time. This, below, is a rattlesnake.


Now, we are no animal experts, but that does not look like an animal that wants to be kissed. In fact, we would go so far as to say that that is an animal that actively does not want to be kissed. It probably doesn’t really even want you to talk to it, even to discuss issues currently affecting rattlesnakes. It wants to be left alone.

But maybe it’s just that one that’s angry.

Maybe it has just had a bad day, it happens to us all.

Perhaps the others are friendly.

They’ll want a nice kiss on the mouth.


(Image: iStock)



12 people who could narrate 'Planet Earth III' who aren't Attenborough


Snake puts so much effort into sex that it takes years off its life


Spiders eat more food than all the humans on Earth


Donald Trump’s lawyer: possibly not racist, definitely not intelligent

Oldest trick in the book

by Tom Victor
17 Aug 2017

We have some very, very good news about cheese

Cheese lovers, it's our time to shine

by Emily Reynolds
17 Aug 2017

Jurors refuse to work on Martin Shkreli's trial for the best reasons

He is *not* a popular man

by Emily Reynolds
17 Aug 2017

Apparently millennials hate boobs now - but what do we like instead?

These god damn millennials, eh

by Gary Ogden
17 Aug 2017

All the times Donald Trump has failed to condemn far-right extremists

This has gone on for some time

by Tom Victor
16 Aug 2017

Flight attendants share the 25 worst things passengers do

How many of them are you guilty of?

by Gary Ogden
16 Aug 2017

Obama's response to Charlottesville is now the most-liked tweet ever

Puts Trump's response to shame

by Emily Reynolds
16 Aug 2017

English accents have been ranked by sexiness - where is yours?

You lot up north will be happy

by Gary Ogden
16 Aug 2017

Unmissable TV shows Reddit says you have to watch before you die

From gritty dramas to kids' classics

by Emily Reynolds
15 Aug 2017

The surprising side-effect of spending just 5 minutes on Facebook

It only takes five minutes of Facebooking

by Emily Reynolds
15 Aug 2017