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Theresa May has revealed the naughtiest thing she did as a child and it is SCANDALOUS

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Gary Ogden
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Before you vote on Thursday, there’s something you must know first. Something about Theresa May. Something about what she did when she was a child. No matter what you think of her already, hearing this will irreversibly alter that opinion. There’s just no going back. Do we want this woman as our prime minister, knowing she did this? 

Speaking to ITV, she made known the naughtiest thing she ever did as a child, and to say that it’s shocking would be an understatement. Did she steal a car? Deal drugs? Punch someone in the face? Kill a dog?

Nope. WORSE.

Brace yourselves:

I mean fucking hell, I MEAN FUCKING HELL. The maniac.

I’ve done some pretty bad things in my time but never, NEVER have I ever run through the fields of wheat.

How did she not get arrested?

“Theresa May, you should be ashamed of yourself. I sentence you to life in prison without the possibility of parole, for the crime of running through the fields of wheat.”

She needs locking up.

“Oh my God, Sandra.”

“Yes?”

“Did you hear what happened over at number 10?”

“No, should I be worried?”

“I am. The lady that lives there was caught running through the fields of wheat.”

“OH MY GOD I’M MOVING HOUSE.”

(Images: Rex/iStock)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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