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London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls

Now, this is funny. Yet it is also not funny.

The Fire Brigade do a sterling job, keeping us all safe from the ever-present hazard of fire, and they even rescue a cat or two in their spare time. But, honestly, sometimes they must wonder why they bother.

In a bid to reduce non-emergency 999 calls - they had to deal with almost 7,000 hoax and malicious calls last year - the London Fire Brigade has revealed a list of its ten weirdest hoax callers, which are all brilliantly stupid. More seriously, crews were actually sent out to 1,316 malicious hoaxes - that's a lot of wasted time and effort.

The Brigade's Head of Operational Response, Assistant Commissioner Tom George, said: "This summer holiday we're asking parents to talk to their children about why it's a bad idea to dial 999 and make hoax calls. Sometimes children don't understand the implications of making hoax calls or that they're wasting precious emergency service time by doing so. Some of the calls we receive are remarkable, people say some really bizarre things. I understand that some have health issues or genuine phobias which may impact on how they deal with certain situations, but many of the callers are simply messing about. Please talk to your children about the repercussions of making hoax calls and let them know that someone could be in genuine need of help whilst they're wasting emergency service time."

Never mind the children, we'd be willing to bet a fair few of these are adults...

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls

    Caller saying he's the Prime Minister and reporting a fire at 10 Downing Street

    Honestly, we all like a laugh but come on Dave, this is childish. Good job you've left now.

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 1

    Caller asking for the Queen

    It was this guy wasn't it?

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 2

    Children calling because they want to see firefighters

    To be fair, this does seem logical.

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 3

    Person wanting a Big Mac

    You want fires with that?

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 4

    Caller stating she is scared of a dead cat outside

    If it was this one, we have some sympathy.

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 5

    Woman calling to say she is scared of spiders

    Justified, if she had happened to set her house on fire while attempting to kill it.

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 6

    Caller complaining of a barking dog

    Cat in tree, maybe. Dog, no.

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 7

    Caller claiming there's a fire at the Statue of Liberty

    It's the LONDON Fire Brigade. The LONDON one. Not much they can do about this one.

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 8

    Man saying his pants are on fire

    Just jump in a lake mate.

  • London fire brigade reveal its top 10 daftest emergency calls 9

    Caller said he was eating a hot chilli and his mouth was on fire

    Do NOT drink water. Milk all the way.

    (Images: Rex/iStock)