Now, this is funny. Yet it is also not funny.
The Fire Brigade do a sterling job, keeping us all safe from the ever-present hazard of fire, and they even rescue a cat or two in their spare time. But, honestly, sometimes they must wonder why they bother.
In a bid to reduce non-emergency 999 calls - they had to deal with almost 7,000 hoax and malicious calls last year - the London Fire Brigade has revealed a list of its ten weirdest hoax callers, which are all brilliantly stupid. More seriously, crews were actually sent out to 1,316 malicious hoaxes - that's a lot of wasted time and effort.
The Brigade's Head of Operational Response, Assistant Commissioner Tom George, said: "This summer holiday we're asking parents to talk to their children about why it's a bad idea to dial 999 and make hoax calls. Sometimes children don't understand the implications of making hoax calls or that they're wasting precious emergency service time by doing so. Some of the calls we receive are remarkable, people say some really bizarre things. I understand that some have health issues or genuine phobias which may impact on how they deal with certain situations, but many of the callers are simply messing about. Please talk to your children about the repercussions of making hoax calls and let them know that someone could be in genuine need of help whilst they're wasting emergency service time."
Never mind the children, we'd be willing to bet a fair few of these are adults...
Caller saying he's the Prime Minister and reporting a fire at 10 Downing Street
Honestly, we all like a laugh but come on Dave, this is childish. Good job you've left now.
Caller asking for the Queen
It was this guy wasn't it?
Children calling because they want to see firefighters
To be fair, this does seem logical.
Person wanting a Big Mac
You want fires with that?
Caller stating she is scared of a dead cat outside
If it was this one, we have some sympathy.
Woman calling to say she is scared of spiders
Justified, if she had happened to set her house on fire while attempting to kill it.
Caller complaining of a barking dog
Cat in tree, maybe. Dog, no.
Caller claiming there's a fire at the Statue of Liberty
It's the LONDON Fire Brigade. The LONDON one. Not much they can do about this one.
Man saying his pants are on fire
Just jump in a lake mate.
Caller said he was eating a hot chilli and his mouth was on fire
Do NOT drink water. Milk all the way.