The art of sandwich-making is, like changing a lightbulb or replacing a flat tyre, an essential yet underappreciated life-skill.
Now that we’ve settled once and for all what a sandwich is, it’s time to move on to determining what counts as a *good* sandwich.
Obviously it’s easy to work out what counts as a ‘bad’ sandwich – anything with sweetcorn in it, for starters – but it’s surprisingly easy to fuck up what should be a simple task.
Thankfully, the internet’s favourite people with too much time on their hands, redditors, have come through for us once more.
You might already do some of these things, but we bet you’re going to start doing the ones that aren’t yet part of your routine:
1. Hard bread for hard fillings, and soft bread for soft fillings
You don’t want PB&J seeping out of two slices of crusty bread, or roast chicken destroying the consistency of your cheap white supermarket loaf.
2. Don’t slice avocado, mash it up and turn it into a spread
You don’t want to be attempting to catch rogue slices as they slip out.
3. Put two slices of bread into one toaster slot before assembling
Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside.
4. When making a grilled sandwich, coat the outside with mayo and not butter
A lot of people suggested this.
5. Every component of the sandwich should be good enough to eat on its own
Don’t skimp on anything.
6. Stop using butter or mayo as a spread. Start using hummus
It’s a no-brainer.
7. Sun-dried tomatoes instead of regular tomatoes
More flavourful and reduces the risk of soggy bread.
8. Make your own mayonnaise
It’s surprisingly easy, and it will taste better.
9. Cut it diagonally
It should make absolutely no difference, but aesthetics matter.
10. Don’t screw up your bread-to-meat ratio
Yes, there is such a thing as too much meat in a sandwich. NB. Jewish deli sandwiches are exempt from this rule
11. Use lettuce as a breakwater
If tomatoes are touching bread then you’re doing it wrong.
12. Cut bread from a fresh loaf, don’t buy pre-sliced.
13. Separate the cheese from the sauce
Mustard, meat, cheese, then more meat if you need it. Lock in that flavour.
14. Put crisps inside the sandwich, not on the side
No need to waste your crunch on lettuce. Or, if you’re feeling really adventurous, use mini pretzels.
15. Your sandwich ingredients should each have multiple adjectives, otherwise they're just not good enough to go on a sandwich.
Olive oil? No. Basil-infused extra virgin olive oil? Yes. Cheddar? No. Three-year aged extra-mature cheddar? Now we’re talking.
16. Get someone else to make your sandwich
The food will taste better from you not being around it beforehand. It shouldn’t make a difference, but it does.
(Images: iStock / Diego Duarte Cereceda)