Films

And the award for Best Fatsuit goes to…

Forget the Oscars – these are the statues the stars are really after

Most Distracting Cameo: John Barrowman for Zero Dark Thirty

It’s one thing having Tony Soprano as a top military boss in a serious political film. It’s quite another having Doctor Who’s Captain Jack as his closest aide.

The Martin Lawrence Award For Fatsuit Acting: Anthony Hopkins for Hitchcock

The judges singled out Hopkins for his admirable attempt to remain dignified while basically resembling the dog in the Churchill adverts.

Best Sound Mixing: Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained

Tarantino’s ‘Australian’ accent as a LeQuint Dickey Mining Co employee was a highly confusing sonic tour de force, blending Dick Van Dyke-esque 'cockney' intonations with sharp South African vowel sounds.

On-Screen Father Of The Year: Bruce Willis

Both A Good Day To Die Hard and The Cold Light Of Day saw Willis save his son’s life, while Moonrise Kingdom found him fostering an orphan. He even bonded with his time-travelling younger self in Looper. Truly, the Daddy.

Best Unseen Road Trip: M and Bond for Skyfall

What exactly went on during the pair’s vehicular escape up the M74? In our minds, they were bopping to Heart’s Club Classics, munching Ginsters pasties and playing a tense game of ‘Never have I ever’. Truly groundbreaking hypothetical cinema.

Best Performance By An Actor In The Role Of Abraham Lincoln: Benjamin Walker for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Newcomer Daniel Day-Lewis gave a valiant effort, but the panel felt Walker’s undead-slaying Honest Abe was ultimately more believable.

(Image: All Star)

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