If you read the words ‘puppet Dwayne Johnson’ and don’t immediately shoot up in your chair, you’re either (a) a liar or (b) already standing up.
You’d give anything to watch a musical based on the former wrestler and current huge-armed man, and soon you’ll be able to.
It’s called The People’s Rock, and it’s showing in London from January 24.
Part of Vault Festival in Waterloo, The People’s Rock is set in 2050 and features an 18-year-old girl named Tee who is obsessed with The Rock. So far, so moderately exaggerated reality.
It involves a puppet version of Ol’ Dwayne, though the creators of the show are quick to point out that – rather weirdly – no other puppets are involved.
“In the world that we’ve created, it’s not the real Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, it’s the teenage fantasy of him,” the show’s producer, Emma Shaw, told Metro.
“In the script we call him ‘The Fairy RockMother.’ He appears when [Tee] needs him.”
She explained the genesis of the show, saying:
“It came about as all the best ideas do when we were taking the piss out of one of our friends. She is obsessed with Dwayne Johnson, and had alarm clocks and cardboard cut-outs of him.
“We were making comments about it, and someone mentioned that this could be a good idea for a play, and it developed from there. It was a group piss-take which turned into a 60 minute play with ten songs and a full cast.”
The synopsis reads as follows:
“2050. The world is not as we know it. Tee is 18, busy with friends, frustrated by family, and obsessed with celebrity, especially her hero Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.
“Tee has no interest in politics. She doesn’t think about the wars raging just beyond the wall which surrounds her home. There is no democracy. There is no religion. There is no internet. When The Rock is inexplicably erased from society, Tee is heartbroken.
“Why does no one else care? Why do they pretend he never existed? Why do they keep telling her to shut up?
“Tee knows he was real and she won’t rest until she discovers the truth about his disappearance. Something’s cooking and it smells like revolution!”
There is a political tint to proceedings, with the fictional world featuring an ‘Emperor Trumpus’ who we’re guessing might borrow a bit from another real-life individual.
“We want to be relevant and talk about the way women engage with the messages someone like Donald Trump sends, but at the same time, its primary role is to be a piece of entertainment,” Shaw says.
So this future either doesn’t see Johnson elected president or, more worryingly, sees him enter the White House and then suffer the sort of unspeakable fate that leaves him reduced to a puppet form.
You can book tickets for The People’s Rock right here.
(Images: Rex Features)