Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

The Twitter Index


Tracking the soaring stocks and junk bonds of social media, helping you to invest carefully and speculate wisely. (By Rhodri Marsden)

November 1st, 2013

Falling: Knock Knock Jokes

Yesterday wasn't just Hallowe'en, the anniversary of Houdini's death and Vanilla Ice's birthday. It was also National Knock Knock Joke Day – although it was unclear which nation was supposed to be celebrating, and what that nation might gain by celebrating. Surely not to raise awareness? After all, awareness of Knock Knock Jokes is right up there with awareness of Germany, ears and string. We all know what Knock Knock Jokes are. (I'm keeping the capitalisation going because I find it mildly amusing.) They represent one of the most elementary forms of humour, along with impersonations and blowoffs. And they're not dying out. Even today, on Not National Knock Knock Joke Day, Knock Knock Jokes are being splurged onto Twitter at the rate of around 100 a minute. Attention really does not need to be drawn to the plight of the Knock Knock Joke. It's alive and kicking.

Adult humans don't usually laugh at Knock Knock Jokes; you can normally see them coming a mile off, and even if you don't see them coming you're more likely to react with weary acceptance than mirth. More enjoyable, I find, are the mystifyingly impenetrable Knock Knock Jokes; the ones that clearly provide some kind of comedic resonance to the person to invented them, but remain stubbornly impervious to analysis and leave you puzzling over them as if they were ancient Mayan riddles or fossilized footprints. Here's some from today, fresh off Twitter:

Actually, that last one is pretty good, if only because the author has recognised the similarity between the words "Porkchop Giniling" and "Don't Stop Believin'" – although how he came to that realisation is going to remain a glorious mystery. I like the ones that start in English and lapse into not English:

Especially if they end with "HAHAHA!"

And even more so if they end with "bye".

Or, indeed, a plea for romantic engagement.

Or a plea for participation.

But, perhaps predictably, this is by far the most common Knock Knock Joke doing the rounds. Please Harry. Please!



Danny Wallace on a case of mistaken identity at the supermarket

26 Oct 2016

There's an adult-sized version of the toy car we all had

Forget your Ferarris, this is where it's at

by Dave Fawbert
25 Oct 2016

Obama just obliterated Trump On Jimmy Kimmel's 'Mean Tweets'

The bewigged one just got served

by Joe Ellison
25 Oct 2016

Stephen King teased Donald Trump story and Twitter reacted wonderfully

We can't think of many scarier things than this man as President

by Tom Fordy
24 Oct 2016

This American listed everything we Brits do better than our US cousins

Including cheese, sarcasm and knowing which bit of your body to hit a ball with

by Tom Fordy
24 Oct 2016

Scientists claim they've solved the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle

About bloody time

by Tristan Cross
24 Oct 2016

The world's top male escort answered a bunch of insightful questions

Everything you've ever wanted to ask, answered in explicit detail. NSFW

24 Oct 2016

Obama just danced to Hotline Bling with Usher

Still officially the coolest President of all time

24 Oct 2016

Watch this huntsman spider kill a mouse and never sleep again

Of course it happened in Australia

by David Cornish
24 Oct 2016

The new bike lock that will literally makes thieves sick

The SkunkLock sprays a vomit-inducing chemical when cut

by Tom Fordy
21 Oct 2016