Right, so on Wednesday, in Texas, a man got stuck inside a cash machine, teaching the world that this is something that can actually happen, and not just the premise for a Hard-Fi music video.
At first thought, inside a cash machine sounds like a great place to be trapped, because there’s loads and loads of money in there, but then you think about it more and realise that the room behind an ATM is probably very, very small and almost certainly doesn’t have any windows. Less fun.
And it sounds even worse if, in this situation, you do not have your phone. It’s just you, alone, inside an ATM, with no way of contacting anyone on the outside world, and no idea when someone will next come in and be able to free you. That’s freaky as hell, I hate even thinking about it.
So back to the story of the guy this nightmare actually happened to. He was trying to change the lock on the machine at a Bank of America branch, when he got trapped inside minus his phone, and presumably panicked a lot, because you would, wouldn’t you.
Thankfully, though, there’s this thing that used to exist before we had phones called ‘paper’. I personally have never heard of it, but have been assured it is a real thing. Basically it’s like this sheet of stuff you can write words on, instead of typing them into a screen. Sounds fake, but fine, we’ll go with it.
What our trapped hero did was write a note pleading for help on the back of a bit of paper that the ATM receipts are printed on, and fed it through the receipt slot, hoping the next punter who turned up for a juicy wad of cash would save him.
The note read: “Please help, I’m stuck in here and I don’t have my phone, please call my boss”, and then his boss’ phone number.
Now, if I went up to a cash machine and I found this note in the receipt slot, I would 100% think it was a joke. Quite a funny joke, actually. I’d enjoy it. And that’s exactly what the first few people who found the note thought.
But eventually, someone decided that the guy might be serious, and rather than phone the dude’s boss, decided to get the police involved.
The thing is, the police also thought it was a stupid prank.
“We come out here, and sure enough we can hear a little voice coming from the machine,” Officer Richard Olden of Corpus Christi Police told KRISTV. “So we are thinking this is a joke. It’s got to be a joke.”
However, they did then bust down the door and release the little cash machine gremlin back into the real world. “Everyone is OK, but you will never see this in your life, that somebody was stuck in the ATM, it was just crazy,” Olden said.
Crazy is about right. Still, bet it was cosier in there than a lot of £700-a-month London rental apartments, am I right guys?!!11!
Anyway here’s that Hard-Fi video, because you probably forgot this song existed until today. What a treat.