Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Man cuts all ex-Girlfriend's possessions in half and puts them on eBay

It transpired that this story was a marketing stunt in Germany, but it's so fun we're keeping it anyway...

"She's taking half."

You know the line - oft-used by expensive attorneys in Hollywood movies to demonstrate how 50 per cent of some rich guy's assets are about to be swallowed up by a spurned spouse. Well now one jilted boyfriend in Germany has beaten his partner to the punch.

In the wake of a messy breakup, the man in question took all the belongings he shared with his former girlfriend, sawed them right down the middle, put his half on eBay and then posted the opposing segments to his ex. He also filmed it.

"Thank you for 12 beautiful years Laura," he wrote alongside a YouTube montage of him cutting all these items which included an iPhone 5, a sofa, house phone, MacBook, TV and a car. YES, an actual car, minus the back seats, which was put up on eBay for the bargain price of £2.

Hammering this point home, he also added: "You've really earned half. Greetings to my successor".

Click the gallery below to see the best of them though be warned, quickly flicking through the images of cut open products is a bit like watching The Generation Game through the eyes of Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Though for all the wanton destruction, lest we forget there’s a heartbroken man behind this mayhem. He even sawed an REM record in half for goodness sake.

Because sometimes everybody hurts.

[Via: Pulse]

Related

cerebro.jpg

BBC Working On A Mind Control 'Remote'

notting-hill.PNG

This Is What £800 Per Month Rent In Notting Hill Gets You

P2.jpg

A calcualator that tells you if robots will take your job

1.jpg

Here's what happens when you put a can of Coke in liquid nitrogen

jurassic-world-walrus.jpg

Zookeepers Have Turned Jurassic World Into A Meme And It’s Brilliant

fridge1.jpg

Brilliant Inside-a-Fridge Movie Supercut

Comments

More

Someone is selling a zoo for less than the cost of a shed in London

The shed, to be fair, is *much* closer to a Tube station

by Tom Mendelsohn
24 Apr 2017

Danny Wallace: one humorous email and a heap of remorse

Another life lesson from our award-winning columnist

24 Apr 2017

'Shocking' Kinder surprise toy raises a lot of questions

Where do you even begin with this?

by Tom Victor
24 Apr 2017

Man completes marathon alongside stranger who helped save his life

A genuinely heartwarming story

by Tom Victor
24 Apr 2017

London Marathon runner stops to help another 'guy in need' finish

Life-affirming stuff

by Tom Mendelsohn
24 Apr 2017

Donald Trump’s interview was literally and repeatedly unintelligible

If they can't hear what you said, they can't pull you up on it

by Tom Victor
24 Apr 2017

Meet the UKIP candidate who finds gorillas 'very attractive'

Colleagues later claimed she was joking - but wait til you see her other opinions

by Tom Mendelsohn
24 Apr 2017

12-year-old arrested after trying to drive solo across Australia

You have to admire his ambition

by Tom Victor
24 Apr 2017

Sam Smith's pubs have banned swearing

Fuck off, mate

by Emily Reynolds
21 Apr 2017

Ugo Ehiogu leaves behind a musical legacy as well as a footballing one

He helped set up a big-name record label

by Matt Tate
21 Apr 2017