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A Man From Norwich Visited London & His Description of the Capital is Absolutely Perfect

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There's no doubt about it, to the untrained eye, London is a fairly crazy place, from angry commuters to Beefeaters, it's downright odd.

It's understandable then that one "soft Norfolk lad" (in his own words), reddit user Big_Adam was reticent to come and experience the delights of the UK's capital city - so much so that he'd only ever been to it once, with disastrous results:

"I keep trying to have a good time in London and it never seems to work out. Last time I went to London I ran out of petrol, and money so had to get someone to come down and get me (this was when I was much younger and just passed my driving test)."

Especially when consulting fellow Norwich residents about his planned London trip he was met with the following:

"I asked people I know, they all tell me its terrible and to not go... 

"Asked some people about the train and was met with "On a bank holiday? Are you stupid? Trains never work right". 

"So I thought to just drive down, which was also met with "Are you stupid? You don't know London, you'll get charged, there's no parking, you'll get mugged."

This is what he had to say when he reported back after his trip:

So a while back I asked about getting to London. Never made it on the 31st but managed it yesterday and arrived back home today.

I did fully expect terrible things, but to be honest ... it was pretty dang nice.

-Megabus might not have been the best idea (no leg room, at all)
-The underground is terrifying, but quiet apart [from] the noises the train makes
-No idea why it costs £4.80 to go anywhere via the underground but thats how much it always seemed to cost (only used train 3 times. Victoria to Balham, Brixton to Balham (walked there, couldn't be arsed to walk back), and Balham to Waterloo). Took me a little while to figure it out but then it was pretty easy
-Still little weird no one seems to talk on the underground, just stare at their phone or book
-Also, stone me I've never felt so under dressed. I tend to look like I'm a few drinks and a bad life choice from being a hobo, meanwhile everyone else seems to be flat out fecking stunning looking. Including one big Rastafarian guy wearing a purple suit, with red trousers
-There is a crap ton of building work everywhere
-Brixton 02 has the sketchiest toilets, Victoria station has some pretty nice ones
-Big Ben is way smaller than I remember
-Citymapper is an utter pile of crap. It needs roaming / wifi to work. HERE maps is much better, as it doesn't crap itself inside out when it has no signal / wifi
-You are all very go, go, go. I'm a great lumbering lump. I think I might have annoyed some people with this
-Holy crap, stuff is open past 4pm on a Sunday?
-Damn there are some expensive / nice cars just sitting around London
-Overall, fecking fantastic city. 8/10
-Will visit again and watch Wicked
-So, I thank you, London and Londoners, for not stabbing me and making my trip pretty enjoyable

Needless to say, this classic Alan Partridge clip was also playing in his mind:


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