Remember Jed Maxwell, the bloke from I’m Alan Partridge whose house contained a room that was one giant (slightly unnerving) shrine to Alan, including a life-size Partridge effigy?
Well, imagine that, but scarier – much, much scarier – with blood-red walls adorned by whacking great knives, replica guns, and instead of a giant Alan, effigies of less-than-cuddly movie slashers Freddy Kruger and Michael Myers.
Oh, and a nice comfy double bed.
That’s exactly what you’ll find at this six-bedroom Leytonstone property currently advertised on Zoopla.
The seller blurb reads: “Fantastic opportunity to purchase this rare semi-detached double fronted Victorian property, set over 4 floors, with many original features.”
What they fail to mention, of course, is the real “fantastic opportunity” is to be plagued with nightmares for the rest of your life, and the only thing likely to be semi-detached is your head, once Freddy or Michael inevitably spring to life and hack you to pieces.
Hey! Anyone wanna buy a 6 bed house in Leytonstone for £1.2m? Looks nice, needs a bit of TLC and WOAH WHAT iS THAT?? pic.twitter.com/b6kFkbuIJm— LD (@LDLDN) September 8, 2016
Indeed, it looks like the house you'd imagine Pulp Fiction's Zed to live in, except even the Gimp would balk at its creepiness.
Still, with house prices rocketing and advertised for a reasonable £1.2million – a fair price to pay for being terrified to your very soul day in, day out – buyers are sure to snap it up. Just as long as they're happy to never sleep again.