Do taxi drivers want to spend their holidays driving round France looking at ancient castles? Doubtful.
Do teachers spend their six-week summer fiestas helping disadvantaged kids with their three Rs? No, they’re too busy getting hammered on a beach in Thailand.
Do doctors give the kiss of life to any stricken thing they come across? Of course they don’t…, well, actually, they do. Take a bow, Dr Ben Waterfall of Swimbridge, Devon, who valiantly fought to save the life of his pet tortoise, Atlas, by administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
The 34-year-old Doc found Atlas lifeless in a concrete water bowl in his garden and immediately set about reviving his pet by placing his mouth over Atlas’s head, mouth, nose and nostrils.
Amazingly, for Atlas was as good as gone, Doc Waterfall (cool surname) did it – the key being breathing in his nostrils apparently. Just in case any of you find yourself in a similar grievous and emotional situation.
And of course, in case any taxi drivers do like driving on their hols or there are teachers out there teaching during their summer break, we apologise. We were just going for a grand and dramatic opening. We were naïve. Sorry.