Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Official Statement

wad.jpg

Date: April 18, 2012

From: Office of Propaganda

RE: Dartz Motorz PROMBRON (ex.RussoBaltique) Aladeen Edition

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM HIS EXCELLENCY ADMIRAL GENERAL ALADEEN – SUPREME LEADER, ALL TRIUMPHANT GENERAL, BELOVED OPPRESSOR, AND CHIEF OPHTHALMOLOGIST OF THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF WADIYA

His Excellency Admiral General Aladeen has graciously granted his express permission for Dartz Motorz, manufacturer of ultra-luxury armored vehicles and exclusive provider to the Wadiyan government motor pool, to offer limited edition commemorative vehicles honoring the Ruthless Protector of the Precious and Expendable People of Wadiya. Like civil rights in Wadiya, this offer will not be around for long.

Named for the undemocratically and forcibly elected Leader of Wadiya, the gold Aladeen Edition armored vehicles will be revealed to the people of the world at the Top Marques Monaco show under the high patronage of His Serene Highness Prince Albert II of Monaco. Top Marques Monaco, held at the Grimaldi Forum April 19 - 22, is revered as the world’s most exclusive supercar show where drivers experience firsthand the latest state-of-the-art machines on the prestigious Formula One racetrack, the Circuit de Monaco, mere weeks before the famous race takes place. A race that Aladeen has already won.

The Dartz Motorz PROMBRON (ex.RussoBaltique) vehicle comes from a long line of armored vehicles more than a hundred years in the making; it was originally built in 1912 for Russian Tzar Nikolai II. The PROMBROM was also NOT used in the accidental hit-and-run death of Wadiyan political opposition leader Maran Harouri, nor in the accidental repeated running over of the six witnesses to the hit-and-run.

Labeled the “World’s Most Expensive Armored Car,” the PROMBRON is the fastest and most maneuverable luxury armored all-road vehicle in the world. With supercar power and the technology of a spaceship, it boasts very unique protection capabilities from level B2 to B7+, providing occupants with resistance to RPGs and .50 caliber high velocity armor piercing rounds (or as Aladeen calls them, “love letters from his people.”)

Furthermore, all Dartz vehicles come equipped with patented 3” ionized glass, also RPG resistant. Each vehicle is handmade with great attention to sumptuous detail, exemplified in the exotic hand-stitched leathers and wood used in the interior, reclining massage seats, champagne bottle chillers and wine racks. And there’s room in back for up to six kidnapped actresses or faded supermodels.

Ten Aladeen Edition vehicles will be made available as part of this limited offer. MSRP ranges from $500,000 to $750,000 (USD). Actual price will vary depending on equipment and package options. (Price excludes title, taxes, registration, license fees, insurance, dealer prep and additional options.) By purchasing one of these vehicles you are also legally agreeing to have sex with Aladeen.

Contact:

Office of Propaganda

323-956-5508

Related

dictator.png

The Dictator trailer

615x330-rexfeatures-503738b.jpg

The 10 looniest dictators

Comments

More

Is Love Actually actually shit or brilliant?

Two writers argue their case for the divisive 2003 rom-com

16 Feb 2017

The totally excellent 19 facts you never knew about Wayne’s World

No way? Way.

by Keyan Milanian
16 Feb 2017

Details of the Star Wars: The Last Jedi teaser trailer 'leaked'

If it's true, Star Wars fans are in for a treat

14 Feb 2017

The best dressed men from the 2017 EE BAFTAs

As sartorially sharp as Stephen Fry's wit

13 Feb 2017

Ken Loach delivered a rousing anti Tory speech at the BAFTAs

The veteran filmmaker criticised the “callous brutality” of Theresa May's government

by Joe Ellison
13 Feb 2017

The 7 best titles new to UK Netflix this week

Get these on your tellybox

10 Feb 2017

Watch John Wick's dog take its revenge in this hilarious viral parody

How the tables have turned

10 Feb 2017

Michael Keaton opens his heart: "Relationships are complicated"

ShortList talks love with the mercurial actor

by Ralph Jones
09 Feb 2017

People are freaking out about how scary this film trailer is

Watch it with the lights on

by Gary Ogden
09 Feb 2017

10 Characters You Always See In Prison Movies

by Joe Ellison
08 Feb 2017