Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Hit call by Joe R Lansdale

landsdale.jpg

“Hey. It’s me.”

“Is it done?”

“Lady, it’s done.”

“Did he suffer much?”

“Just like you wanted him to. About the money?”

“You have to give me what I want out of this. Remember?”

“I don’t like talking over the phone. It’s not safe.”

“This is a burner. First and only phone call I’ll make on it. Tell me.”

“It was slow. He suffered terribly. He cried. Kept saying he didn’t know you.

Tried to get out of it hard.”

“Know what?”

“What?

“He didn’t know me.”

“You’re confusing me.”

“I’m not his wife, and I didn’t hire you because he was beating me.”

“You said... You showed me things.”

“You can do wonderful things these days with a long distance camera and Photoshop. And I’m a good liar.”

“I don’t care what he did or if you’re married to him. You owe me five thousand dollars. You said when it was done, you’d pay me.”

“Picked him at random. Learned some things about him, then I found you. Wanted to see what I could get done for a promise of money. Didn’t even give you up-front money.”

“I know where you live.”

“You know where you think I live. You don’t even know my right name.”

“Why would you do this?”

“Because I can.”

“You bitch.”

“This phone, it isn’t really a burner, but it won’t connect to me. It’ll connect to you. I’m mailing it to the police.”

“They get me, they get you.”

“You don’t know who I am. You’ll take the fall for it. They’ll look for me in all the wrong places. For all you know, I might not actually be a woman. It wasn’t like you looked down my pants. It’s been a thrill, dumbass. For me. Goodbye.”

“Hey... Hey... Hey. Hello. Hello. Damn.”

The Thicket by Joe R Lansdale is out now (Mulholland)

(Illustration: Edward Tuckwell)

Related

malcom.jpg

Running on bloody floors by Malcolm Mackay

main-image.jpg

The Best Crime Novel Covers Ever

horowitz.jpg

The ShortList crime challenge

Comments

More

Donald Ray Pollock: Inside the mind of a nightmare specialist

Modern master of disturbing prose on the moments from page & screen that made him who he is

05 Oct 2016

Harry Potter fans can now discover their Patronus

Don't lie, you want to give it a go, don't you?

by David Cornish
23 Sep 2016

20 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Stephen King

21 Sep 2016

Your chance to see excellent US author Donald Ray Pollock

And also have a beer! Win win

08 Sep 2016

Return to a nineties classic: Chuck Palahniuk on Fight Club

20 years since Fight Club, the author tells us how he’d rewrite his seminal novel for 2016

17 Aug 2016

Details announced for new Partridge book

'Nomad' will arrive this autumn

21 Jul 2016

13 famous books that had very different working titles

by Chris Sayer
10 Jun 2016

George RR Martin has just confirmed this brilliant GOT fan theory

A badass character gets a badass back story

by David Cornish
01 Jun 2016

Twitter account Photoshops 90s’ books to give them titles they deserve

12 Apr 2016

You're going to want these stunning new Shakespeare books

The books your bookshelf deserves

by David Cornish
12 Apr 2016