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UKIP compare themselves to the Plague and don't realise that isn't good

The P stands for Pustule!

UKIP compare themselves to the Plague and don't realise that isn't good
04 May 2018

People sometimes get in trouble for comparing themselves to things. John Lennon claimed that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, and people got really upset (John Lennon was 5’ 10”, while Jesus’ height is unknown). 

UKIP’s general secretary Paul Oakley has decided to compare his dwindling party to something. Speaking on the Today programme about UKIP’s dismal failure in last night’s local elections, where they got about 1% of the vote, he said “Think of the Black Death in the Middles Ages. It comes along, goes dormant, and then comes back. That’s exactly what we are going to do. Our time isn’t finished because Brexit is being betrayed.”

We don’t know Paul Oakley. It’s definitely possible that Paul Oakley isn’t deeply, deeply stupid. But willfully comparing your failing political party to the bubonic plague is certainly an act one might expect from someone who was deeply, deeply stupid. He was even given a chance to back out of it, and asked if he really meant to compare UKIP to the Black Death, which killed up to 200 million people.

“Absolutely” he said. “What’s wrong with that?” 

He went on to insist that, despite wiping out up to 60% of Europe’s population, it “also led to economic growth and the Renaissance. It got rid of the whole issue of servitude, basically, and allowed people to go into the towns and escape their landlords and create their own businesses.”

The plague (left) being not good

It killed 200 million people, Paul, you extraordinary buffoon. You foolish goat. You dim bulb. You turnip-brained soil-head. Why would you voluntarily make that comparison? Like, if someone says “Oh, your job is going well”, you don’t go “Yeah, it’s like cancer, it’s like having a giant tumour on your brain that is killing you, it is good, I like it, I think that is a good thing.”

Like, he could have compared it to the Renaissance, and said that it came out of this time of hardship and galvanised people and changed everything forever. That would have sounded quite nice, and made UKIP, who never tend to sound nice because they’re so horrible, sound almost romantic in their efforts. Instead he’s gone for “YOU KNOW THAT OBJECTIVELY AWFUL THING, THE BIGGEST DISASTER HUMANKIND EVER FACED, WE ARE LIKE THAT, HA HA HA”. 

You know, like someone deeply, deeply stupid would do.

Paul Oakley, there, general secretary of UKIP, not a very smart man.

(Pic: Getty)