This is why mums should never skateboard

“Don’t do it, mom!”

If any sentence could encapsulate the dread felt by a young boy as his mother attempts to drunkenly skateboard down a skate bowl and embarrass him in front of a crowd of onlookers, it's this.

Shouted seconds before she heads down the ramp, it's to no avail. No helmet, no padding, no sobriety, just flip flops and dutch courage (or Russian) - she does it anyway, falling spectacularly to draw a mixture of disbelief, gasps and mild, if patronising, applause.

Thanks to Kerry Katona, we all know why mums love shopping at Iceland. And thanks to this lady, we also know why they don’t skateboard.