"Rudeness is merely an expression of fear" so says Monsieur Gustave H, the eminently suave concierge of one of Europe's finest institutions, The Grand Budapest Hotel.
So we're not sure whether he'd take kindly to said institution being listed on the recommendations website TripAdvisor, often a home of scathing reviews, pointing out the flaws and complaints from a stay at a B&B or hotel.
Fortunately, it's currently scoring an average of 4 and a half stars out of 5, from 269 reviews - 178 of them being five stars. We're still not sure he'd be too happy about that though - what happened to the other 91 who didn't find it perfect?
The Grand Budapest Hotel, featured in the 2014 multi-Oscar-winning Wes Anderson film of the same name, is one of only a few fictional locations on the site - The American Office's Dwight's B&B, Schrute Farms is also on there, scoring 597 five-star reviews out of 1,101. The top review proclaims: "I usually don't believe in miracles or magic, but after spending 44 days at Schrute Farms you can scratch that idea. They had towels made from beets, beet soap, beet slippers, the list goes on and on. The Root Juice, or TRJ for short cleansed out my system, practically a rebuild... When I die, I want to go to heaven, and if it's anything like Schrute Farms then sign me up!"
Take a look at some of the best reviews for Zubrowka's premier (and, probably, only) hotel below and check out the page here.