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Advice from Michael Caine

Like a Magic 8 Ball with a cockney accent

Advice from Michael Caine

Now, we're hoping our fathers aren't reading this, but if we were allowed to go back and have the God-like task of casting our life, chances are we'd pick Michael Caine to play dad.

Throughout a career that's spanned six decades, the iconic Englishman has gone from effortlessly cool killer to enviable ladies' man to dad whose advice we'd always trust. If it's good enough for his faux-son Bruce Wayne then it's damn sure good enough for us.

(Images: All Star, Rex Features)

The Quiet American

"They say there is a ghost in every house and if you can make peace with him he will stay quiet."

Thomas Fowler

The Man Who Would Be King

"Keep looking at me. It helps to keep my soul from flying off."

Peachy Carnehan

Austin Powers In Goldmember

"Don’t play the laughing boy. There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch."

Nigel Powers


"Life is for living. It’s there for the taking. Grant yourself no regrets."


The Cider House Rules

"In other parts of the world, young men leave home and travel far and wide in search of a promising future."

Dr. Wilbur Larch

Blood and Wine

"There’s no such thing as honor among thieves. It’s a myth."

Victor 'Vic' Spansky

Secondhand Lions

"Well, a man’s body may grow old, but inside his spirit can still be as young and as restless as ever."



"They're a funny lot, the Italians. Culture isn’t really their thing."

Andrew Wyke

20,000 Leagues Under The Sea

"What you fail to understand is the power of hate. It can fill the heart as surely as love can."

Captain Nemo

The Prestige

"Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled."


Noises Off

"That’s what it’s all about, doors and sardines. That’s farce, that’s the theatre. That’s life."

Lloyd Fellowes

The Weather Man

"Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life."

Robert Spritzel

Children Of Men

"Everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance."



"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."


Hannah And Her Sisters

"For all my education, accomplishments and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own heart."


Batman Begins

"Why do we fall, sir? So that we might learn to pick ourselves up."


Get Carter

"Well, we're all a little freaky, Doreen. It's those straight ones you've got to worry about."

Jack Carter

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

"A poacher who shoots at rabbits may scare big game away."

Lawrence Jamieson

The Italian Job

"You wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, would you?"

Charlie Croker

The Dark Knight

"Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."