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20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad

Judd Apatow movies are chocker block with advice. Whether you follow that advice, however, is entirely and utterly up to you. You can see where we're going here, can't you? We're distancing ourselves from the following pearls of (potential) wisdom from Superbad.

So please, don't shoot the messenger. Just shoot the flaming cop car, pistol held sideways. "Tight..."

(Images: Rex/YouTube)

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad

    1.

    "Read a fucking book for once"

    Fogell

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 1

    2.

    "Ya see, Michaels, when ever there's a call for a bar, you take it"

    Officer Slater

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 2

    3.

    "Stay out of bars"

    Officer Michaels

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 3

    4.

    "Take a bit from every bottle"

    Seth

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 4

    5.

    "I'm stepping up. And once I'm up, I don't step back down"

    Seth

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 5

    6.

    "You said you'd do it, so do it"

    Evan

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 6

    7.

    " Fuck thinking! We need to act!"

    Seth

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 7

    8.

    "Just like a woman. Even after you're dead, they want to tear your heart out"

    Officers Michaels and Slater

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 8

    9.

    "Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam"

    Seth

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 9

    10.

    "Take off that vest. You look like Aladdin"

    Evan

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 10

    11.

    "Chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe"

    Evan

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 11

    12.

    "You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours"

    Jules

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 12

    13.

    ""You don't want to meet a chick in a bar man...you gotta go to other places. You gotta go to spin class, a farmer's market...just somewhere social, non-threatening"

    Officer Michaels

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 13

    14.

    "You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome"

    Seth

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 14

    15.

    "Everyone should hold a gun at least a couple times"

    Officer Michaels

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 15

    16.

    "I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work"

    Seth

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 16

    17.

    "People don't forget"

    Seth

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 17

    18.

    "It's just beer"

    Officer Michaels

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 18

    19.

    "I wouldn't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all"

    Evan

  • 20 Pieces Of Wisdom From Superbad 19

    20.

    "Enjoy your remaining years"

    Seth

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