Judd Apatow movies are chocker block with advice. Whether you follow that advice, however, is entirely and utterly up to you. You can see where we're going here, can't you? We're distancing ourselves from the following pearls of (potential) wisdom from Superbad.
So please, don't shoot the messenger. Just shoot the flaming cop car, pistol held sideways. "Tight..."
"Read a fucking book for once"
"Ya see, Michaels, when ever there's a call for a bar, you take it"
"Stay out of bars"
"Take a bit from every bottle"
"I'm stepping up. And once I'm up, I don't step back down"
"You said you'd do it, so do it"
" Fuck thinking! We need to act!"
"Just like a woman. Even after you're dead, they want to tear your heart out"
Officers Michaels and Slater
"Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam"
"Take off that vest. You look like Aladdin"
"Chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe"
"You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours"
""You don't want to meet a chick in a bar man...you gotta go to other places. You gotta go to spin class, a farmer's market...just somewhere social, non-threatening"
"You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome"
"Everyone should hold a gun at least a couple times"
"I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work"
"People don't forget"
"It's just beer"
"I wouldn't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all"
"Enjoy your remaining years"