Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

The new trailer for 'American Horror Story' Season 7 is here to ruin your week

ahs.jpg

I’m not entirely sure why, but we love scaring ourselves shitless – whether that means watching horror films, riding rollercoasters or even just holding our phones out the car window on the motorway (just me?). Not sure why, but it’s certainly an international thing, and as long as we keep getting scared, people are going to keep making scary things for us to watch. Like the weirdos behind American Horror Story, for example – that’s their day (and night) job, scaring us stoopid.

So far, AHS has had mixed results: some seasons good, some seasons bad, but from the looks of this new trailer for the seventh season, they’re onto another winner.

This trailer is 10 seconds long, 10 seconds, and it still manged to mess me up, big time. Don’t watch it if you like baths, basically. Showers from now on and for evermore.

Here you go: 

So yeah, didn’t expect that, and now I never want to see water or a person’s face ever again. I’m putting the blinkers on and never cleaning myself – dirty horse-man, they’ll call me. And I don’t care – nobody can hurt me in my stable, not least hollow-head and their stupid hollow head.

I also won’t be watching American Horror Story Season 7, because I assume there will be more of the above, and I’m cool with it, actually. Cool with not seeing people with hollow heads anymore. Scratched that off my to-do list forever, thanks.

Oh, and here’s something else I’m not going to watch – all eleven AHS season 7 teasers bunched into one video. I’ll put it below, but I ain’t watching it. Hopefully it’s the right video, because I won’t know, because I’m not watching it.

I have been informed by my editor that it was not the correct video. Here it is:

It starts on Friday 7 September, but I’m not going to watch it. Bye.

Related

Westworld.jpg

The new 'Westworld' Season 2 trailer is very bleak and very violent

LoganLucky.jpg

Check out the exclusive new trailer for 'Logan Lucky'

room.jpg

Watch the trailer for 'The Disaster Artist', the film about 'The Room'

More

'The League of Gentlemen' is officially coming back to the BBC!

And it's coming very soon...

by Gary Ogden
23 Aug 2017

There's a new Netflix crime doc and it's got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes

Our next true crime obsession is here

by Gary Ogden
23 Aug 2017

This hidden truth about Jaime Lannister is very eye-opening

What are his true motivations in Game of Thrones?

by Alex Finnis
23 Aug 2017

Tormund from 'Game of Thrones' without his beard is so unsettling

THIS IS SO UNNATURAL

by Alex Finnis
23 Aug 2017

Jennifer Aniston isn't happy about that wild 'Friends' theory

She responded to opinion that Joey was the real man for her

by Gary Ogden
22 Aug 2017

17 things you might have missed from 'Game of Thrones' S7 E6

Did you spot all these easter eggs?

by Alex Finnis
22 Aug 2017

'Stranger Things' fans - we have some excellent news

We might not be saying goodbye to Hawkins for a while

by Dave Fawbert
22 Aug 2017

Tom Hardy's final CBeebies bedtime story is going to break your heart

Yes, of course dogs are involved

by Dave Fawbert
22 Aug 2017

This 'Game of Thrones' theory suggests the Night King has extra powers

How can he ever be defeated?

by Alex Finnis
22 Aug 2017

This 'Game of Thrones' theory says Daenerys may be able to have kids

It destroys everything we thought we knew

by Alex Finnis
22 Aug 2017