Tech

This Is The Reason Why You Still Secretly Stalk Your Ex On Facebook

It's been two weeks. Two, hellish weeks. 

You've hardly slept and you can't remember the last time you ate a full meal. You've looked at your phone three times in the last five minutes to see if you've had any notifications. You're a mess. 

Maybe she's updated her Facebook profile? Perhaps she's feeling a similar level of anguish, is struggling to cope, and has put out a discreet cry for help that only you can answer.

You type in her name. 

Nope. She's fine. It looks like she was out at a party last night. With a rugby team. 

The reason as to why many of us engage in this inherently damaging act of Facebook stalking has been explained by a team of researchers at the University of Hawaii and Ohio State University. Their conclusions won't come as a surprise.

Those prone to this act of ex-stalking are more likely to have been deeply hurt by the breakup. 

"Individuals most traumatized by a breakup are most likely to monitor their ex-partners online, which previous research indicates may further postpone their emotional recovery," explains the study. "Practically, this finding indicates that individuals experiencing a high level of distress from a breakup should consider disconnecting from the ex-partner on social networking sites, either temporarily or permanently.

"At this point, there is no clear clinical definition or boundary for what is considered psychologically healthy and unhealthy levels of online surveillance of one's partner, particularly after a breakup."

If you'd ask us, that boundary should exist WHENEVER YOU START TYPING THEIR NAME INTO SEARCH. The study highlights the murky waters of the cyclical relationship between distress and online surveillance: the worse you feel, the more you want to look, which in turn will make you feel worse - on and on and on.

Do yourself a favour: hide your ex's status and notifications. Book yourself a long, soul-searching holiday in a location you've never been to before. Buy a dog. 

Just get off Facebook.

[Via: Hexjam]

(Image: Shutterstock)

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