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This farcical Uber journey will make you think twice before booking one

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Tristan Cross
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One of the tragedies of modern living is the ease in which we are subsumed into our daily routines. Our world slowly contracts till all we know is the A to B between our doorstep and our daily grind. We could live in a Truman Show bubble for all we know, because all we know is very little indeed.

Step forward one brave Uber driver, committed to broadening the horizons of passengers only travelling the path well trodden.

Upon leaving a friend’s party at 4.30am, comedian Hannah Warman decided on a decadent (though sensible) Uber for her 5 minute walk home, fell asleep in the backseat and then woke to discover she had been taken on a 35 mile trip instead.

The Uber driver had clearly sensed within Hannah some unspoken wanderlust, some great desire to experience the north, west and centre of London through closed eyelids and slumber. All that he asked in return for this minor detour was a measly £84.95. You can barely get a flight to another country for that these days.

Instead of being pleased with this bargain tour, Warman took some umbrage at being taken around every house in Hanwell while asleep and thus unable to say “are you sure this is the quickest route?” and has been given a partial refund of £71 by the company for her troubles and her travels.

If there’s any lesson to be gleaned here, it’s that it can be sometimes quicker to just stand completely still, wait for the sea levels to rise and wash you back to your front door than ordering an Uber. 

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Tristan Cross

Tristan Cross is the only writer in the UK

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