Got an Amazon Alexa? Here’s how to make it sort your life out, sharpish
Got an Alexa, have ya? Ooooh, look at you, with all your tech and your fancy voice-commands and your recipes and all that silly jazz - how great for you. But what is it actually doing there? Like, it’s great that you can play your favourite song just by saying “Alexa, play Witchdoctor by Cartoons“, but it can do so much more as well. Like make your life the easiest it’s ever been, you lucky sod.
So, to back up the above statement (the one about the “sod”), here are five things that we bet £34,000 that you didn’t know it would do for you:
Have trouble keeping track of your finances? (“Yes” - 98% of people) Then it’s probably a good idea to make friends with Budget Bot. Essentially, it’ll monitor your spending and stop you losing it all in a crying, screaming shame spiral. Simply say something like “Alexa, tell Budget Bot I just dropped a hunnid on a pair of shoes I don’t need” and it’ll tot it all up and let you know whether or not you’re being a Reckless Ronald (again).
Sometimes, things get on top of you - this is something we all share. Having a Very Bad Day™ can really take it out of you, so simply say “Alexa, open Calm Now” and just like that, you’ll be relaxed. Why? Well, Alexa will introduce you to a bunch of exercises to sort out the tizzy you’re having - breathing techniques, counting to ten, even shaking your legs out - it’s all to calm you the hell down. It’s like a verbal panic button.
Start Nagging Me
It’s easy to forget things - going to the gym, cleaning your teeth, being a good person, all very easy to let slide. Whip Start Nagging Me into business though, and it’ll make sure you’re right on track, by mithering you to within an inch of your life. Ask it to remind you to change your sheets, and it’ll bang on about it every ten minutes until you’ve done it. It’s Mum-bot, basically.
Quite similar to the above is Lyfe Trak, but it’s not there to pummel you into submission, it’s there simply to track the things you desire. So, if you fancy doing a bit more running, or fancy cooking more than you are at the moment, it’ll monitor your progress. So open your mouth and screech “Alexa, check my progress on breathing this week”, and it’ll give you a run down of where you’re going wrong, or right.
If you live on your own, this is pointless, but if you live in a house share or with flatmates, then it’s a Godsend. Either that or it’s gonna cause a massive house fight to the death - either/or. Essentially, this app gives you points for doing housework - so washing the dishes or hoovering the living room or disposing of the dead bodies - and then puts everything into a leaderboard so you know who isn’t pulling their weight. Then presumably it acts as a referee for the ensuing deathmatch.