Clean the bathroom.
Empty the fridge of out-of-date food.
Make a half-decent stir-fry.
These are the things we could accomplish in 17 minutes and 46 seconds - with the use of our eyes.
If only we had the skills of pro SNES player, Hup Chapter. The Japanese gamer god has just beaten an improbable speedrun record on Super Mario World set by PangaeaPanga, nailing a super-hard route through the entire game while blindfolded. PangaeaPanga managed a sloth-like 23:14, with Hup retracing the same path, reducing the completion time to 17:46. The final boss battle is genuinely incredible, completed by timing the game's noises with well-practiced jumps.
How? Why? What? All relevant questions.
Have a look at the video below, skipping to around 18 minutes to see him celebrate in wild, ear-piercing fashion. We will never be that happy.