It’s just one of those things that you go through life never questioning.
You eat with a knife in your left hand and a fork in your right. The sky is blue. Grass is green. Arsenal will finish 4th.
And, in Super Mario, Toad’s is wearing a hat.
It’s axiomatic. It just ‘is’.
But no. According to a new interview with Super Mario Odyssey producer Yoshiaki Koizumi, we’ve been lied to all this time.
When asked to definitively rule on the question “Is Toad’s head a hat or a head?”, Koizumi replied “So that, as it turns out, is actually Toad’s head.”
He continued, “I’m going to have to leave it to all of you to figure out exactly how that works out. Maybe there’s something inside…”
Fans, understandably, were shocked.
While markets were rattled at the revelation.
Others, meanwhile, were left to ask some serious questions about what they’d seen before, notably on The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 which, suddenly, instantly, was relegated to the status of non-canon.
That's quite scary, isn't it? I mean, according to the canon he's taking off part of his head.— lucas marchesi (@lucasmjmarchesi) February 5, 2018
the cartoon isnt canon, unfortunately, if it was the koopalings would have way cooler names loo— cheatsykoopa98 (@cheatsykoopa98) February 5, 2018
Others took the news better:
If this wasn’t enough to deal with, Koizumi also addressed other important questions, such as: “Why does Mario have nipples but no belly button?”
“Well to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really expect that to be a topic among fans. Once I heard that people were talking so much about Mario’s belly button, it made me start to think about whether we should revisit the topic on the design side.”
Which raises more questions than it answers.
Finally, when asked to explain Mario’s relationship with Peach, and now Paulie, Koizumi also replied diplomatically: “I would appreciate it if we could respect the privacy of those three at this time.”
What next? Arsenal finishing 3rd? Anything seems possible now.