Gaming

20 video games no one ever asked for

Posted by
David Cornish
Published

Half-Life 3

Knights of the Old Republic 3.

Flappy Bird 2.

There are many, many video game sequels we've been wanting for years - but do the gods of publishing and development give them to us?

No. They make these instead. The morons...

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for

    Irritating Stick

    Responsible for the most underwhelming Christmas day ever recorded. 

    You can have more fun with a real stick.

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 1

    Super 3D Noah's Ark

    Biblically bad.

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 2

    The Guy Game

    Just... no. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 3

    AAARGH!

    Seriously? You wouldn't give us a decent Godzilla game, but you've got time to make this? 

    What even is that, a Cyclops unicorn man? Lay off the experimental drugs, guys. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 4

    Russell Grant's Astrology

    "Oh... that wasn't a fart" - Russell Grant

    Probably. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 5

    Cheggers Party Quiz

    And you thought Cheggers was limited to annoying you through the medium of television.

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 6

    Ultimate Duck Hunting

    "HUNTING & RETRIEVING DUCKS"

    Seriously? We thought it was a chess game. Thanks for clearing that up. 

    Idiots. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 7

    Ninjabread Man

    Here's how the development of this game went:

    Someone accidentally said "Ninjabread" rather than "Gingerbread".

    They then decided to make this game. 

    At least, that's how we think it played out. They shouldn't have bothered.

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 8

    Erm...

    ...we'll be honest, we have no idea what's going on here. An athlete and his trainer are becoming overwhelmed by emotions thanks to the appearance of the PlayStation logo hovering in the sky. 

    Be honest, you don't want to play it.

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 9

    Sonic's School House

    "But Sonic, can't we fight Doctor Robotnik and collect some rings?"

    "NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT TWO PLUS TEN IS, YOU LITTLE TURD."

    Seriously, even the number 12 and the letter C are bummed out by the concept of this game. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 10

    Crazy Frog Racer

    Aaaaaaand now you've got that infuriating noise stuck in your head, don't you?

    We're not even sorry. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 11

    Hatoful Boyfriend

    A dating simulator about birds.

    Because, Japan.

    It's actually a fun game, but... hey, where are you going?

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 12

    Caution Seaman

    *Exhales heavily through nose*

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 13

    Phalanx

    This game features no banjo-playing hill billies. The lying bastards. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 14

    Plumbers Don't Wear Ties

    In this game, they don't wear anything.

    Because it's a pornographic video game. Nuts. Literally. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 15

    50 Cent: Bulletproof

    Bizarrely, this is the exact face made by every child when they unwrapped their birthday present to discover their parent's hadn't bought them Grand Theft Auto 3

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 16

    Hotel Mario

    Mario! In a Hotel! With... wait is that Elvis?

    JUST MAKE NORMAL MARIO GAMES.

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 17

    Bible Adventures

    Spoiler alert: Jesus dies, but he's got an extra life. It's eternal. 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 18

    Grey's Anatomy: The Video Game

    Tap A to turn the game off, move to the sofa and watch the box set like a regular human 

  • 20 video games no one ever asked for 19

    M&M's Brand Kart Racing

    And the winner of the most nonsensical video game cross over is...

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Author

David Cornish

Shortlist.com’s esteemed Tech Editor. David has a keen interest in video games, Star Wars and stuff that runs on batteries.

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