“My bounty is as boundless as the sea; My love as deep; the more I give to thee; The more I have, for both are infinite.” That's William Shakespeare there, talking about the Nintendo Gamecube, which turns the grand old age of 15 on 14 September.
Did you know that the Nintendo Gamecube is so unarguably great that all modern love stories are based on it? It is every artist's muse, every child's reason to utter a tinkling laugh. It is light. It is goodness. It is everything.
Sorry, where were we? What we're trying to say is: go away other consoles. Leave us in peace. Nothing will ever beat the Gamecube in our hearts, and here's why...
Nintendo looked at decades of disc history and fearlessly said, "Nah, mate. Smaller."
This is almost definitely a true fact
It was the exclusive home of Super Mario Sunshine
You could plug in your Gameboy Advance to get that high-tech feeling
Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do DO
If you were so inclined, it came in ORANGE
It was the home of snotty kid
Don't @ us, there will never be a game better than Wind Waker
It only corrupted your memory card ~occasionally~
Because where would society - nay, the world itself - be without Pikmin?
It had the most satisfying eject button of all time
Oh, hello LIGHT UP CONTROLLERS
It gave Luigi a chance to shine
Super Smash Bros. Melee, basically
It will always be there for you, wherever you go
If you wanted to be a next-level nerd, you could import the Gamecube's Panasonic cousin, the Q. Just LOOK AT IT.