"Hi Chris. Project sounds of interest. I'll be in touch in regards to the next phase. Best."
Poor Chris. He's going to get that message and think you couldn't give a professional toss about his ideas for a Riverside Fixie Slider Bar Popup. In the daily bustle of email communications, your genuine enthusiasm has become diluted, sapped dry as you attempt to bring that inbox figure to a hallowed zero.
What you need is the 'Emotional Labor' email extension.
Created by Joanne McNeil, this thoroughly cynical Gmail app washes lifeless emails in nauseating levels of enthusiasm and (vomit) joy.
By installing the extension on Chrome, the Emotional Labor system will scan through your Gmail messages for any opportunities to add "pep", replacing serious words for more "playful" alternatives, swapping out full stops for exclamation marks and crowbarring in a pink, fluffy introductory spiel.
"I was inspired to create the extension after many futile attempts to start using canned responses", explains McNeil. "The Emotional Labor email extension looks fake. That’s the point. I wanted to reveal my exhaustion, my fatigue in needing to attend to so much correspondence. Until there is an emoticon for 'Things are kind of not great but I don’t want to disturb you let’s just pretend things are fine,' that’s the grey area where this project resides."
You can download the extension by visiting its website here. We suggest saving it for use with colleagues sharp enough to identify its levels of vapid mirth - goodness knows you don't want to get stuck in a back-and-forth email exchange of "Lols".