Tech

This man using his fidget spinner to like everyone on Tinder is peak 2017

Posted by
Gary Ogden
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You know fidget spinners – they’re 2017's Pogs, Tazos, snap bracelets, Pokemon Cards – they’re the latest craze currently taking over playgrounds (and unfortunately, offices) around the UK. What one is, in essence, is a three-pronged, spinning toy that was originally designed to combat fidgeting in kids. It has had the opposite effect, obviously, but then nice things = stuff we can’t have.

The latest use of one of these devices is down to Twitter user @Holdenellis2, who has decided to use his spinner to further his dating life. In a video entitled “How to get laid with fidget spinner”, he does the following:

Interesting tactic, but I feel there are a number of flaws in his plan. 

Firstly, there is no quality control, so your inbox will become a flood of matches and messages, half of which you won’t even be interested in. I took this tactic when I first got Tinder many moons ago, and it was hugely detrimental to my overall experience (the only plus is you don’t have to remove your eyes from the TV when doing it).

Next up, my man isn’t getting any matches. If he was, the match notification would keep coming up (as in my experience, obviously), and if you keep your “finger” on the same bit, weird things happen, like you’ll accidentally share a match to Facebook or some shit.

And finally, this tactic will only work if you have the paid version of Tinder, because you’re going to run out of likes mighty quickly, before being hit with the 12-hour waiting period. Takes all the fun out of it, really.

Still, good luck to the guy – everyone has their own tactics for pulling. Mine involves chatting up girls in pubs and then mid-conversation, getting my phone out and actively swiping on Bumble – it makes women jealous and demonstrates my tech prowess at the same time. It’s genius, I reckon. 

If that fails then I’ll just run into bars and do a quality, in-depth lap of the place screaming my phone number, then wait until the texts flow in the next morning.

So far, all of these techniques have been unsuccessful. I’ll keep you in the loop though.

(Image: @Holdenellis2)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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