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These sweatpants have changed pockets forever, and solved a major problem

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Gary Ogden
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You have lost a phone or a wallet at some point in your life – you can tell me that you “haven’t” all you want, but you have. Everyone has. And a great load of you will have lost either of those things because they slid out of your pocket when you were sitting down; in a taxi, on the tube, in a cinema, on an ejection seat. I have a pair of jeans with particularly shallow pockets and I often catch my phone falling out of them – at least twice I didn’t notice, unfortunately.

So THANKS, then, to Betabrand and its genius tracksuit bottoms (or trakky bs, if you were a member of the AU at uni). These are no ordinary pair of sweatpants, for the pockets have been revolutionised; they are the product of true, unbridled genius, a genuinely forward-thinking mind. They might change the world.

What this mind has done, is take normal pockets, and then stuck them on the opposite way around. So now the pockets face inwards – they’re on your lap. When you sit down, whatever is in your pockets (wallet, phone, a ball of millipedes) will stay resting nicely on your thighs, or perhaps your glans, should you have a nice long one.

To access whatever is in your pockets, you’ll have to use the hand on the opposite side of your body – reaching down in front of you. This also makes it easier to access your wallet, phone, assorted nuts and seeds, when you’re in a tight space, like on the Tube.

Also, they don’t look that bad, either – pretty smart, all in all. And they’ve got a pocket on the back, too, in which to keep stuff that you won’t necessarily need to access as often, like a condom.

If you want a pair, they come with a very reasonable price tag, too – a pair will only set you back $80. The extra $60 is because the pockets are back to front. Buy a pair here, if you want. If you don’t want, head here, where you cannot get a pair.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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