Trends

6 celebrity-crafted men’s fashion lines that history deliberately forgot

Posted by
Nick Pope
Published

He might be $53 million in the hole, but Kanye can still count his Yeezy line as a success against so many long-forgotten celeb fashion failures.

A £180 tee-shirt doesn't fly off the shelves on celeb-association alone. While a selection of stars, including Pharrell, Puff Daddy and Justin Timberlake, have raked in millions through the fashion game, a far bigger number have tried and failed to make the crossover.

And while there are oh-so-many to choose from, we've picked out six that were doomed from the very start.

  • 6 celebrity-crafted men’s fashion lines that history deliberately forgot

    Malibu Dave by David Hasselhoff

    Years active: 2006 - 2006

    Malibu Dave.

    Malibu Dave.

    MalibuDave.

    What comes to mind when you think of those words, together for the first time in history? A white van man, driving around Zuma Beach honking at sunbathers? Your step-dad, trying out a new nickname in the thick of a terrifying middle life crisis? A terrestrial TV channel, dealing exclusively in old episodes of CHiPs?

    You’d be wrong. Malibu Dave is, was, and forever will be a very short-lived fashion line owned by Baywatch icon David Hasselhoff. Inspired by the success of his ‘Don’t Hassel the Hoff’ tee-shirts, he set out on creating “super-cool, laid-back surfing gear.”

    Needless to say, it didn't work out.

  • 6 celebrity-crafted men’s fashion lines that history deliberately forgot 1

    alpha by Peter Andre

    Years active: 2012 – 2012

    It’s hard to understand why a man who spent the majority of his career semi-naked would want to build a clothing empire.

    Maybe it was an effort towards reinvention? Why else would the harmless, mum-friendly Aussie reality star decide to publicise his threads with a prison shoot?

    But maybe he was just locked-up by the fashion police before he got a chance to unleash his corrupted-Word-doc aesthetic on the nation’s shops?

  • 6 celebrity-crafted men’s fashion lines that history deliberately forgot 2

    FuMan Skeeto by *NSYNC’s Chris Kirkpatrick

    Years active: 1999-2002

    Once upon a time, big time boy bands were far from the paragons of fashion virtue that some of us now hold them up to be.

    Case in point: *NSYNC. Despite being lusted over by pop lovers across the world, they collectively donned some of the dirt-worst outfits in human history.

    But amongst all of the jheri curls, leather suits and hilarious ski shades, one man stood out.

    Oft dreadlocked teen idol Chris Kirkpatrick committed every fashion sin in the book. And what’s more, he tried to bring everyone else down with him, by releasing FuMan Skeeto in 1999.

    Like a Guy Fieri fever dream, Kirkpatrick's line bravely combined denim with 'everything else in the world, all at once', to create garms like this, this, and this.

     

  • 6 celebrity-crafted men’s fashion lines that history deliberately forgot 3

    Dilligaf by The Situation

    Years active: 2010 – now

    This is still technically trading, so it hasn’t exactly been ‘forgotten’ - rather, banished to the pits of our subconscious to save us the psychological trauma.

    So what’s the situation, Situation? It’s essentially biker gang gear for people who’d never be accepted into a biker gang.  Also, sleeves aren’t conducive to the gun show, so there’s an almost universal ban on them.

    And how did the perma-tanned Jersey Shorester decide on 'Diligaf'? It’s an acronym for ‘Does It Look Like I Give A F*ck?’. An acronym that's very similiar to the already popular acronym 'DGAF', which of course means 'Don't Give A F*ck.'  

    What the Situation has done here is take a perfectly fine existing acronym, and turned it into a longer one. Arguably defeating the point of acronyms in the first place. But, to answer the original question: Does It Look Like I Give A F*ck?

    No. No it does not. Mission accomplished, we guess?

  • 6 celebrity-crafted men’s fashion lines that history deliberately forgot 4

    OutKast Clothing

    Years active: 2002 - 2004

    Andre 3000 is held up by many rap fans as a style icon for his confident, colourful, dandy-inspired threads, which begs the question: why did this collection bomb so hard?

    Well, largely because Andre hated the clothes. He was quoted in an interview saying that the group would never wear be caught dead wearing any of the collection.

    Good business plan lads.

    Andre 3000 went on to start another doomed fashion range, the Ralph Lauren-inspired Benjamin Bixby. Despite actually being pretty swish, its unrealistically high price points meant that it was destined for the clearance racks.

  • 6 celebrity-crafted men’s fashion lines that history deliberately forgot 5

    Soji by Common and Jeremy Piven

    Years active: 2007 - 2007

    Bit of a weird one, this.

    In 2007, rapper Common teamed up with Mr. Selfridge to create a line of “bohemian driving caps.” If that isn’t #AccidentalPartridge enough for you, he also decided to name the brand after his next door neighbour.

    His inspiration for the line? Apparently he wanted to capitalise on all the people asking him where he bought his hats. Thing is, we’ve just done a Google image search for Common, and he really doesn’t own that many hats.

    He probably owns a lot now, what with all the unsold stock.