ASICS do not care that you’ve overspent. ASICS do not care that you bought your brother something a little too nice, nicer than he deserves, to cheer him up and that you’re now skint trying to make him happy after that heck of a year he’s had. ASICS just want to thrust mad suede-paneled trainers into your face, holding them there, making you look at them, look at them, damn you, look at this pair: look at the craftsmanship, the detailing, look at the extra-comfortable neoprene sock liner on the GEL-Lyte V, the pleasing sandy vista of the heel panel on the GEL-Lyte III. Look at them, you bastard, it tells you, whispering, a shoelace dangling in your ear. Look at them.
The new ‘grey cream’ GEL-Lyte pack is lovely. Course it is. The construction of premium hairy suede and dusty pastel colour blocking, in glacier grey and light cream, concrete and sand, steel and gold, perforated suede on the toe box, quarter panel, and heel is a dream. The fit is comfortable, like a blanket on Boxing Day, and the Gel Tech in the sole gives you bounce like a little something extra thrown in from your man on New Year’s Eve. Plus there’s a durable rubber outsole that adds plenty of traction under-foot for when you are thrown, kicking, screaming, eyes blurring, nose whirring, back into reality. DON’T FALL DOWN. JUST HOLD ONTO YOUR CASH A LITTLE WHILE LONGER, LIKE AN AILING DIVORCED DAD SUCKING IN HIS GUT, AND SPLURGE ON THESE WHEN THE COAST IS CLEAR, WHEN THE LAST OF THE PRESENTS ARE BOUGHT, WRAPPED, TAGGED, AND GIVEN, THE PORT DRUNK AND CELEBRATIONS FUCKING DEMOLISHED. Treat yourself then, and only then. You’ll feel much better for it.