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British people reveal their ‘zombie plans’ – basically we’re all going to die

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Emily Reynolds
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It’s good to be prepared for stuff, isn’t it? Having an umbrella in your bag in case of rain, packing slightly too many pairs of pants when you go on holiday, ordering more takeaway than you really need so you can eat the leftovers the next day. Practical stuff, responsible stuff. 

Forget your stupid six-pack of M&S pants though, mate, are you prepared for the INEVITABLE ZOMBIE INVASION OF EARTH? Probably not, because YouGov reports that only one in nine British people have a ‘zombie plan’.

A ‘zombie plan’, obviously, is literally just a plan for what to do if zombies start wandering around, tearing people limb from limb etc. etc. etc. And only 11% of Brits have one – bit of an oversight from the other 89%, really.

zombie

Image: YouGov

Young people, perhaps obviously, are way more likely to prepare for their impending doom: 23% of 18-24 year olds “know what they would do in the event of dead developing a taste for human flesh”. Just 3% of those aged 55 and over had prepared – idiots. 

Men are also more likely to have a zombie plan – 14% of men compared to 8% of women. Maybe that’s why women always die first in horror movies?

As for the plans themselves, most people are cowards. 45% would find somewhere to hide – either their own homes or other family homes. People are also concerned about supplies (food, water and medical kits, mainly) – 43% of plans involve provision of supplies. Most people are planning on winging it, too – more than half of zombie plans involve “gathering supplies after the outbreak starts”, which seems brave and or stupid. 

Just under a quarter – 23% – of people say they would ‘aquire weapons’, which definitely sounds like the most fun way to go about it, but the people who are actually going to survive? The 9% who refused to divulge their plans.

They’re the smart ones – why would they give their plans away now, potentially weakening them when the inevitable happens? These are the people you want on your side when the apocalypse comes next year.

Only two people of everyone surveyed had the real right answer, though:

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Emily Reynolds

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