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You can take a university course in 'Making A Murderer' (and other things we learned this week)

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Gary Ogden
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You can take a university course in 'Making A Murderer' (and other things we learned this week)

03/04/18

Another week, another dollar, another brain cell, another fact stored in the filing cabinets of the brain, ready to be pulled out in the pub tonight, destined for awed silence upon its recounting. You have learned many things this week, is what I’m trying to say - and hopefully, a few of those things were courtesy of this here website: Shortlist.com.

If not, let’s take a quick refresher and remedy that immediately:

It’s actually really easy to find Wally from Where’s Wally

And it’s all down to a simple formula - a specific route on which to take your eyes and you’re guaranteed to find that scrawny little striped hat-wearing twat quicker than usual. The secret is all down to a fancy computer scientist who analysed all the locations of Wally across his many travels, and worked out the probabilities of where he’d appear. Now all the fun’s been sucked out of it! Gutted!

Read more here.

London may be a more dangerous city than New York

No room for jokes here - read all about the rising murder rate here.

Jeff Goldblum does a pretty mean Principal Skinner impression

Jeff Goldblum has a very good voice, a very nice, smooth, lovely, charismatic voice that I would like to somehow distill into a drink and swallow. So imagine my delight when he decided that it would be a great idea for him to read the part of principal Skinner in the infamous ‘steamed hams’ scene from The Simpsons. Imagine it. IMAGINE THE DELIGHT.

Watch here.

Yes, Jeff Goldblum reading the 'steamed hams' script from 'The Simpsons' is gold

You’ve got a big nose, but you can make it smaller for free

You’re doing selfies wrong, you berk. Basically, taking them right up close to your face means that your nose looks massive, but take it from about five feet away, and everything looks normal. It’s simple maths. Or biology. Or something. One of them. 

Read more here.

University courses are getting more ridiculous by the day

English? Politics? Art? Making A Murderer? One of these things does not belong, but which one? Well, it’s the last one, and although you can definitely actually literally study this at university, it doesn’t mean that you should. The University of Utah is offering a course designed “to teach students how to use criminal justice issues raised in the documentary series to teach law students about flaws in the legal process”. Whatever next? Medicine?

Enroll here.

The greatest criminal e-fit image is on the internet, all others are pretenders

Not much to say here, other than:

Read more here.

The Stranger Things creators are being sued for being naughty

Yep, supposedly they stole the idea for their show from a bloke who had made a very similar short film. It’s all very messy, but it’s also very convincing. Essentially: government experiments, missing children, and even basically the same name (originally, anyway). Stop copying, you bloody Duffers, you!

Read more here.

The Rock’s been addressing depression on Instagram, what a hero

NO point in me repeating what he’s said - you can read it all here.

The Swedish version of Finding Dory is a tad NSFW

A lovely cute bright silly film about lovely fish with A HORRENDOUSLY OFFENSIVE ENDING. DISGUSTING FILTH. ABHORRENT IMAGES. DEATH TO EVERYTHING THIS STANDS FOR:

Read more sleaze here.

There are lots of different types of reality TV show celebrity, it turns out

Celebrity reality TV shows are great, aren’t they? Shove a hefty haul of celebs into a big box and watch them absolutely hate each other. It is, in essence, and I hope this doesn’t say too much about my life, what I fucking live for. 

As such, and to boil everything down to the easily-digestible categories, we have curated an extremely important list of the main different types. Read it here.

The Australians are not fond of public swear words

I think, rather than me describe why, it’s probably best if I simply show you:

Read more here.

Beer is nice

So nice, in fact, that we’ve written a big old feature recommending a load of extra-special ones to you. Drink up, slow-coach!

Read, then drink, here.

Mobile phones are terrifying agents of surveillance and they will one day kill us all

I don’t trust technology, never have - it goes wrong, it doesn’t do its job, and perhaps most crucially: it is evil. Eventually, the machines will take over and we’ll all be enslaved - I will continue to spread this message until it’s too late. Nobody listens, nobody learns, we will all die.

Anyway, phones can fucking listen to you without your permission so basically never talk or do anything ever again.

Read more on your evil device here.

We did it to ourselves. Bye!

(Images: Getty/Luca Micheli)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

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