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The Sun’s front page is trying to start a war with Spain… while also promoting holidays there

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Tom Mendelsohn
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For some, the War of Spanish Succession has never truly ended. Even though England departed the conflict in 1713, winning the sovereignty of Gibraltar “in perpetuity” under the terms of the treaty of Utrecht, for the shellshocked likes of The Sun newspaper, the roar of cannonfire and the screams of dying dragoons clearly still ring in their ears more than 300 years on.

This all explains perfectly rationally why the paper is still fighting a battle others thought long-finished. And while they might have seemed like kooks with a weird boner for our long departed empire, they have been vindicated at last: despite all denials and any evidence to the contrary, the corrupt, bloated aristocracy that rules the evil socialist EUSSR with an iron fist is clearly making a fresh bid to prise Gibraltar from nobler British hands. Our milquetoast PM Theresa May has meanwhile refused to take the region’s sovereignty off the table during forthcoming talks on Brexit. But The Sun is not for turning. 

“UP YOURS SENORS!” is the sensitive if slightly ungrammatical headline that the mildly pro-Brexit Sun decided to run with this morning, in the gentlest possible reminder to the EU that this small cliff situated on the southernmost tip of Spain belongs to good old Blighty.

“The Sun today demands Spain and the EU take their hands off Our Rock,” it writes, stopping just short of declaring war on behalf of Brits everywhere – something the former Tory leader Michael Howard suggested on Sunday that Ms May might be tempted to do. 

So far, so perfectly rational, but here’s where it gets weird: on the same front page which so patriotically calls upon Brits to defend their recent colonial acquisitions, the Sun is also offering amazing holiday deals to its readers – from just £15, the promotion allows holidaymakers to take holidays to the UK, France, Italy, Holland, Croatia, Austria… and Spain. Talk about mixed messages, eh?!

Meanwhile, one enlightened commenter on the Sun’s site has a rather more sober analysis of the situation:

Anyway, Brexit’s going just fine.